My adult daughter and I have been at odds over this issue for several years now. We both have strongly-held, heartfelt views, and despite our best efforts, the best we've managed to has been to agree to disagree.
We end up tiptoeing around each other because we can’t talk about it – and of course it really does get in the way. We don't know how to navigate it, and are left to muddle through as best we can. It’s hard on everyone else in the family, too.
I recently discovered that it is possible for mothers and daughters stuck in this situation to have a real and worthwhile conversation with someone else’s mother or daughter about what has happened in our own relationships – without having to walk on eggshells.
This was a huge relief to me. I was amazed to see that words that are unsayable between mother and daughter can flow freely between a mother and a daughter who are perfect strangers.
And I couldn’t help thinking, 'There is something here'.
I want to write a book about this. A book that will try to pin down that 'something' – and maybe point to a way forward.
If you’ve fallen out with your mum/daughter over this issue, and you’d be interested in helping me write this book by talking to me, and maybe to someone else’s mum, or daughter, please get in touch:
[email protected]