Hi everyone, I’m looking for some urgent advice regarding a nightmare CMS situation and could really use some perspective from anyone who has been through this. My ex and I have been on Direct Pay, but he hasn't paid a single penny in 8 weeks now and currently owes over £560 in arrears. Back in January, his girlfriend told me he would backdate everything once he 'knew what he had to pay' because he’s been off work since an operation 8 weeks ago. However, he actually applied for a mandatory reconsideration to get his payments lowered due to him saying he was on sick pay , and the CMS has just officially REJECTED it because they checked with HMRC and decided the original, higher amount should stand and his income has actually gone up by 25% than what he was paying. The crazy part is that while he's claiming he can't pay, he was out buying an engagement ring for his girlfriend whilst not paying anything and they’ve been posting on Snapchat stories about family outings and his brothers baby shower while he hasn't even had contact with our daughter for 7 weeks or even invited her to any of these things. He Only txt and tried to FaceTime my Daughter on “Mother’s Day” once in those 7 weeks to tell her he proposed to his girlfriend posting a Snapchat story with her ring on saying she said yes. Before that he last contact on 19th of January. I’ve already reported the missed payments to the CMS portal weeks ago but I’ve said not to put it on a pay and collect and pay thinking he’s on the sick, but I’m torn on whether to officially pull the trigger now and move to Collect and Pay right now or wait the 28 days to see if he tries to take it to a tribunal.
Should I just stop being 'nice' and let the CMS force the collection and the 20% fee on him immediately? Since he received his letter 3 days ago to say they’ve reject his income change and he should continue paying as per the income they have got from the HMRC and on our private payment plan via direct debit he’s not made the payment either into my account since having that letter - not been in touch with me either so I think he is ignoring it.
Would love other Mums advice on this cms issue please - what you would do and also possibly how I navigate my daughters feelings - she’s 11 - she’s starting to pick up on he only gets in touch when he wants to here and there …
I’m also worried that he will say is well at the start of me not paying I said I’d back pay when cms figure out my sick pay…. So why have you put me on a collect and pay? - however he’s not been in touch with me since the January, hasn’t made any sort of payment in 8 weeks, has ignored the cms letter declining his sick pay change, because he hasn’t made any sort of payment since he received the letter (no back payment and no weekly payment for this week) So I think in my mind I have been fair waiting this time. He can make things hard though that’s why I worry too.