Dummies and mum guilt?!

[maisandnorie]

I have always been quite indifferent about dummies, even before becoming a mum but have tried to introduce one with my almost 6 week old EBF baby girl and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Has anyone found it uncomfortable watching their baby with a dummy? It makes me feel sad like I’m not being the one to comfort her and I guess a little bit jealous/guilty! New to being a mum so looking to see if anyone has felt the same and how they combat it. Thanks in advance!

I wouldn't introduce it unless you really must, as then you're creating an issue later when you need to stop it and they don't want to

No need for guilt. Does baby find comfort with the dummy, does it soothe and help them sleep? Great if so. They’ll still need you just as much! If not why continue? They may prefer thumb sucking or a comfort blanket/ toy instead.

that was my thought but she can be pretty unsettled in the car when we first get in and has just started waking and instantly cries with hunger so we were just hoping to use it exclusively for moments when she’s inconsolable really! Easier said than done, but she’s currently not really a fan anyway so I am nit passionate about pushing it either

She currently doesn’t like it much, so I am not keen on being insistent as I would rather she found comfort from her thumb (which she’s started to find) or as you said, a blanket or something similar when she’s older as that’s what I had as a baby. Thank you for your response :)

Sorry to confuse you further, because thumb sucking is even harder to stop (at least with the dummy you cab throw it away), so dummy is lesser of two evils. Thumb/finger sucking is totally fine and normal, just make sure that doesn't become a habit. So pull it out if they fall asleep etc

I never planned to use a dummy with my little ones but ended up using one with my eldest and it was a life saver. She was a few weeks/months old when we started. She only used them at certain times though. My youngest was never interested in them!

I used a dummy with zero guilt. My DC were all exclusively breast fed and the dummy helped prevent my nipple being a dummy.We were lucky and had no difficulties removing the dummy. Neither DC were constantly attached to dummy and we only used it when needed.

I originally didn't want to give my bub a dummy, but desperate times call for desperate measures! As a FTM, the dummy was a life saver when I just couldn't calm bub down (I've now learnt it was mostly likely because he was overtired). Luckily he isn't addicted to the dummy, but does occasionally like to suckle on it during daytime naps. I'm still learning about sleep patterns and whatnot and I'm finding sticking to a routine really limits the need for a dummy.

That’s really helpful about the routine, thank you. We have one in the night and it has helped massively!

At one point I was desperate for my DS to take a dummy, ebf and he would hysterically cry every single car journey, he just hated it. We would stop a million times so I could soothe him with boob, but as soon as we put him back in car seat he would scream again. He eventually took the dummy and honestly, best thing ever. He still ebf with no issues, but it helped soothe while I physically couldn't! He only ever used it for car or naps, and I took it off him cold turkey at 18months and he was fine. Honestly if she's unsettled, keep trying, nothing worse than hearing your baby in distress x

i don’t get that logic.

dummies you can remove. Remove the dummy, they stop using one. It’s not an issue.

if you choose not to give a dummy and they suck their thumb, then that is hard to stop. You can’t remove the thumb.

i know a fair few adult thumb suckers. Strangely never known anyone still using a dummy out of primary school (eveb accounting for SEN where I knew someone still would use one at 6, would steal siblings and other babies dummies)

That's what I said, dummy is better than thumb. But better not to introduce the dummy if they don't actually want/need it.

You do know thumb sucking can cause more problems than a dummy, look it up..I was the same but after 2 weeks gave a dummy and 3 of our 4 voluntarily stopped around 5 months just refused it and since they were past the stage of needing it It wasn't an issue our 4th we had to persuade about 6 months but got there after 3 days

No problem! I suck at keeping track of things, and have been trialing out the Huckleberry app to help me – it predicts a "sweet spot" for when bub should nap. So far it's been really helpful and it's made me see that I've often been keeping bub up too long (which equals cranky baby)!

I wasn't going to do dummies but did, and stopped them when he was about 6 months when he had a cold as he couldnt breath through his nose so kept spitting it out. I did miss his cute face with a dummy in, and how intense it makes their eyes 😂