not sure where to start

[Huskyfan68]

not sure what topic/thread this belongs in. Struggling with spouse who likes to drink and i do not (as much)- we have an upcoming wedding where he stated he wants to get drunk- I stated what about me an my feelings? i just get back the same- what about me? why can't i have night to let go? what is my response supposed to be to this? we are at a stale mate.......

What’s the issue? Most people have a drink at a wedding. Unless him being drunk means he is aggressive or there’s a huge backstory, I really don’t see the issue with him getting drunk at a wedding?

Issue is embarassment- having to take care of him- i'm left feeling alone since you know what happens when people drink. What about my good time? I am willing compromise- not saying people can't drink but does it need to be excessive to the point of getting sick- acting like a jackass etc? where do my feelings com into play?

But what do you mean by taking care of him? If he’s talking about getting absolutely black out drunk, passing out, being sick on himself etc obviously that’s one thing. But if it’s just your typical wedding day drunk, dancing, singing, having a laugh with friends/family, I really don’t see the problem and think most people do exactly that. If you don’t personally like drunk people or drinking it may just be that you’re not compatible with this person. My husband & I (and all our friends) have a drink at weddings, we probably are acting a bit silly, dancing, karaoke maybe, and we’ll all be hungover the next day, but if my husband suddenly said to me that he wasn’t happy with me doing that I’d be asking what it has to do with him? Unless of course I was getting mortal drunk and he was having to carry me home and clean up my sick etc (never get that drunk), having a drink at a wedding shouldn’t be a big deal unless problematic.

i don't disagree with you entirely but i do think it's an issue if it's an issue for the other party (in this case me)- do we not have an obligation to our loved ones/partners to care about their feelings and come to a compromise so both parties enjoy?

Not really, if it’s a one off, a celebration, and it’s doing no harm. As I say, black out drunk and needing to be taken home and taken are of is very different, but having a good time, a dance, karaoke etc with friends & family isn’t something that really is an issue. I’d think it very odd if my husband asked me not to drink with my friends and family at a wedding and wouldn’t understand why that would hurt his feelings. Maybe you aren’t compatible and that is fine.