Newborn and anxiety

[Lena4039]

Hello. Writing this post as I hope someone will share advice and experiences. I am a fairly new mother who is now experiencing anxiety. I am afraid that everything could be dangerous for my baby, bacteria especially. This means that there is a lot of thought and focus on this. I'm afraid if the pacifier falls down, I'm afraid if my hands are dirty and therefore have to wash my hands a lot and I'm generally afraid of bacteria and of the baby becoming seriously ill. This is something I spend all day thinking about in most of what I do, what could be dangerous and how I can solve it. No solutions seem safe enough, and I often have anxiety because I think that most things can be dangerous when the baby is so small. I am getting help for this, but was wondering if anyone has experience with something similar themselves and would like to share what has helped?

Good that you’re getting help for this, have they given you advice yet?

@MontblancTheSecond that I have to expose myself to what I am afraid of. but I don't feel it helps because if I expose myself to one thing, something new just comes.

Hi OP, I have a young baby myself and was quite worried about this especially in the very early days. As time has gone on though I have just learned to accept that I can only do so much and I can only control so much- beyond that I just have to trust it will be okay. People have been having babies for thousands of years, and those babies have turned into healthy adults for thousands of years before the days of anti bac wipes, steriliser machines etc. Do the things you can do, sterilise the bottles, the dummys, wash hands if they are dirty, but beyond that just know that in all likelihood it will be fine! X

Glad you're getting help. but as PP said, remember that babies have grown up for many years without antibac, sterilisers, wipes etc. I think it's gone too far in hygiene sometimes, it's healthy to be exposed to some germs.

@Mrsttcno1 thank you very much. :) Yes, I feel like I have to wash my hands so often in case there's bacteria on my hands, I have to wash my hands before I breastfeed or remove the pacifier. I also think it's scary to use cleaning products at home or for my cat to be in contact with the baby as this is an outdoor cat. it is very tiring to be so afraid of everything that might happen.

@Peonies12 thank you:)

I totally appreciate that @Lena4039 it is scary, especially when they are little! I know it’s easier said than done but just try and remember you can’t control everything, as much as we might want to wrap our babies in cotton wool it doesn’t do them any good in the end! If you feel up to it (and if you aren’t already) I’d really recommend seeing if there are any baby groups near you to join. I do a few different ones each week with my baby and find it a huge help just having that time to chat to other mums who are in the same position as me, it all feels a bit less terrifying when you realise we are all in the same boat just trying our best X

@Mrsttcno1 thank you:)

@Mrsttcno1 the problem is just that my head never thinks it's good enough. and all ways of doing something can be dangerous for the baby. so no matter how much i try to find best solution i find a potential danger in it. :/

Can you try to focus on the fact that not all bacteria are harmful?

That we need all kinds of healthy bacteria in order to live?

Your baby has an immune system. That's how they survive when faced with harmful substances.

Is your health visitor aware of your struggles? Your GP? You may need medication to help you over this.

@TheShellBeach thanks for reply. I might have to try to change my perspective yes. I have a cat who is an outdoor cat but has cat litterbox inside. I dry clothes in the same room as the litterbox and if the cat has pooped there I am so afraid that the particles will settle on the clothes that are being dried. that's just an example of what I'm afraid of. or breastfeeding without washing hands first. I've thought about medicine but don't want to go on it when I'm breastfeeding.

There are medications that are safe when you're breastfeeding.
Do go and talk to your doctor.

@TheShellBeach yes, I just hoped there were other options than starting medicine.

I do understand but medication has a very high success rate.
What other option would you prefer? Genuine question, not me being nasty.

@TheShellBeach

I was hoping that maybe someone had been in the same situation and could share experiences or tips. or just tell me that the examples I give are not dangerous. for my head cannot now distinguish between what is dangerous and what is not dangerous.

Hi OP. I just wanted to share my experience with you. I had terrible anxiety when my boy was a baby but mine was around suffocation. It was a really difficult time for me and I couldn't understand how other mums were so relaxed. Looking back it started on the first car journey on the way back from the hospital after giving birth.
I struggled leaving the house with my little boy and was tearful at the pressure I felt under. Eventually I got help from a mental health nurse at my doctor's and along with medication I quickly learned ways to feel 'normal'. My little boy is a strong and robust 2 year old. I whole hearted am so grateful for the support that was available. Reach out to those around you, over time it will get easier.

Honestly, the examples you've given aren't dangerous.

The trouble is that I have a feeling your head won't accept that.

It's really horrible to be permanently anxious. I have found that medication works best for me.
I hope you find help soon.

@TheShellBeach thank you.