Relationship Advice please?

[Francessca98]

I’m 21 and 15 weeks pregnant me and my boyfriend have always gone to the gym together but I injured my knee 2 weeks ago and haven’t been able to go. He has lots of male friends who go to the same gym as us and frequently train with us. He typically chooses to go alone if I’m not going or with one of his mates. A few nights ago my partner finished work at 10pm I asked him what time he thought he’d be home he told me he wasn’t sure as he was going to the gym with G ( female 24 ). In the last few months he’s been talking about G a lot and how they work together but she’s been off and how he really misses her and hopes he can be the one to train her when she returns to work. She returned a few weeks ago and he was disappointed about the fact another guy got to train her with all the new tech. Since then he has started making more plans with her. Is this something I should be concerned about? Any advice would be appreciated?
I would like to add although our pregnancy was unplanned he had spoken multiple times about how much he wanted kids etc and when we found out he was so excited however recently he is out all the time or sat in another room to me on his phone/computer/Xbox. I don’t know if I’m overreacting to the situation where my hormones are all over the place at the moment but he just seems so uninterested in me and our baby

I’ll be honest, it doesn’t sound great!

it’s a huge life change having kids, and the reality may just be hitting him.
Has he been quite supportive/involved? How is he with his share of household tasks? I find this to be a good indicator of how hands on a parent they will be!

It does not sound good.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Can you support yourself and raise the baby with minimal support from him?

He already has a child of which he has no contact and hasn’t since the start of our relationship when I’ve brought it up previously he has said his ex will not let him see his child. But I’m not sure what to believe. He attends all the appointments and always ask to keep a scan photo and always checks when the appointments are etc but if I ask him to come shopping for things for the baby he just doesn’t want to doesn’t seem interested. He’s very good with the housework, if I’m at work almost everything will be done by the time I am finished and vice versa.

He already has a child of which he has no contact

Hindsight would have been good with this man. But you're here now.

You do seem to have low standards. He does housework if he's at home? He should. That's basic adulting. You have to do a lot more than that to be a good father.

DO you have a decent job with maternity?

MrsTP makes a very good point. I think that’s the best thing to do here.

I’d personally be suspicious too of the other child situation, and honestly find it off putting that I can’t see him putting up any fight over this.

i feel like you posting here suggests you know this isn’t right or going well, and you know you deserve better. You really do.
Please don’t bring the baby into this situation with the hope of it improving the relationship, it’s a very dangerous game xxx

Yes I agree I don’t think it’s the best situation. I really don’t know what happened with his other kid I’ve seen him get so upset about not being able to be a part of the child’s life but just won’t tell me anything
I say when he’s home as we both do minimum 12 hour shifts on alternate days with Mondays or Saturdays off together hence we split the housework they way we do
I do have a decent job however I only started my new job 3/4 weeks ago now so I’ll only be entitled to statutory maternity pay so not great - plus all of my family live in a different country so they won’t be able to help out

I feel like there are quite a few factors here that mean this isn’t the right time for you.

Stat maternity pay really doesn’t go very far! And then when that’s done nursery fees are eye watering although you may get some of this new gov help if it rolls out on schedule.

unplanned pregnancies happen. There is never a ‘good’ time and all that however it is absolutely ok to put your hands up and say this is actually a really bad time, my relationship is not in the right place and even though all of that is true there is absolutely no reason why you both can’t go on to have children together further down the line when you are in a better financial position, emotional position and have had a bit more time to solidify your relationship and find your feet in adulthood.