13 year olds advice

[Lostguardian]

Hi,
I have just become legal guardian to my late sister's 13 year old twins.

My own children are in their mid twenties so it's a long time since I dealt with this age group and I am out of my depth especially where phones/technology is involved!

Can I ask firstly what time do your 13 year olds switch off their phones and go to bed and secondly for any general advice around this age group. I have a girl and a boy.

Thanks

I'm so sorry for your loss and theirs, op.

I think the main thing to be aware of is that Sm has come on a million miles since your kids were young. Parental locks on everything.

I hope you're able to access grief counselling for the kids

Your nieces and nephews will
be grieving so as much as you can I would try and reflect everything you know of their home life at your sisters. So if you know they went bed at a certain time keep that- I know if may not work for you but having two kids myself that are bereaved the amount of changes that they go through you have to try and keep some constants. If you don’t know anything and can’t just take their words then get them involved in the conversations and mutually agree.

Do you know what social media their mum allowed them to have? Do you know if she had any ground rules with technology? If so I'd keep to that.
Dd is 12 all tech off at 9pm. She has no social media apps. Her phones is fully locked down. But absolutely don't do this if the twins are used to having social media, I've no doubt it's a lifeline for them to be able to contact their friends at this very difficult time.
I'd just talk to them, make them away of potential dangers, remind them that anything they put on social media is there for all the world to see, and potentially for many, many years.
Keep the lines of communication open. Most schools are really good re-social media, I'm sure given the circumstances you could talk to their head of house, who'd probably be able to point you in the right direction.
Sorry for your loss, I'm sure you are all grieving, and I hope each day things get a little easier.

Thank you for all the advice - appreciate it x

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you are all ok. I have a DS who is 12, coming up to 13 and wow the pre-teens are an eye opener! He currently goes to bed at around 9-9:30 - he has been asking lately to stay up until 11pm saying that his friends stay up until then but for me that is far too late! His phone goes on charge downstairs at 8pm and he is not allowed on it then until morning but texts do come through from his pals until quite late - sometimes as late as 11:30. The conditions of him having a phone are that we know his password and will check it if we think we have reason to ie bullying etc. I do check his whereabouts on find my phone to check where he is on the way home from school. He has WhatsApp and is allowed on YouTube but no other social media. He probably spends too much time on the PlayStation but not as much as some. I would also say that they are probably very curious about their changing bodies, sex and relationships so might need a chat to about that. It is a really tricky age and it has really hit us this year how much DS has changed and peer pressure is huge since starting secondary school.
Im sure you are doing an amazing job and making your sister very proud

Thank you - I quickly discovering that there is no norm for things like bedtime! Xx

I have a13 year old dd, goes up at 9 lights out 10. I restrict her phone so she's not on it ALL day but I don't particularly bother if she has it in her room as she uses it as an extra alarm, if she's obsessing over something on it I remove it though. But I think you have to judge each child as they come. I know she's not scrolling late at night but some might be .

I would like to know how they get the line through a sentence. Like it's been crossed out...

So sorry I don't know how my comment got in here when I was trying to answer another thread. Sorry again