Wedding Best Man

[Mamacita7]

Hi, I’m new and can’t see a weddings sub-section.
I’m looking for some advice, our wedding is 2023, so far we’ve only booked and paid a deposit for the venue.
Sadly our best man died a month ago. It has been devastating and my fiancé does not want a replacement best man. I understand this and support him in that decision.
The issue is that the wedding we’ve booked is pretty traditional and I’m worried for my fiancé not having a best man at all.
He will have to go shopping for his kilt etc by himself and there’s the stag night.
I just can’t picture him stood alone at the end of the aisle and then not having a best man speech.
We are thinking of asking his baby daughter to be a flower girl, my fiancé was going to be his best man this year.

Do we cancel our wedding or change it to something smaller?

Does he have a dad or brother he could go kilt shopping with?

I don’t think you should cancel or rearrange. His friend would want you to have the wedding of your dreams and you have at least 12 months until 2023, his might change his mind once the grief isn’t so raw. I wouldn’t ask about his DD being a flower girl so soon after his death though.

You don't need to cancel the wedding, of course not.
The grief is raw. Just give him some time.

There are other people he can go kilt shopping with, and other friends will organise stag.

We aren’t going to ask until exactly a year before our wedding. She is only a baby so essentially we will be asking her mummy. We spent the day with them today and we did’t mention either of the weddings, I won’t mention them at all until she does.
They had organised so much more than we have and I’m worried she has to still cancel absolutely everything for their wedding. She has her dress.
I’m heartbroken for her and we will honour him at our wedding in some way.

My fiancé has a dad that could go with him, I hadn’t thought of that. Thank you.

I would suggest he surrounds himself with mates who can all be ushers on the day but the best man is not replaced. He could kilt shop with ushers or other family members, it doesn't have to be men, it could be his mum,aunt,etc. He could do both groom and best man speech on the day incorporating what he thinks his best man would have said, everyone who knows you and is therefore invited to the wedding will know the situation and be welcoming to any plans you have. Most of all don't let it cloud your special day, your best man wouldn't want that, he would want you to celebrate x

Sorry for your loss

I went with now DH and his best man for their suit fittings. I didn't know it was only the groom and best man! His dad, brother, uncle could also go along surely?

There is another year to go, so by next year, maybe there is someone else he would like as a best man. If not, then as others have suggested, what about ushers or a male friend/relative/colleague to do a reading or be a witness?

Does he have other friends who would do a stag for him?

He is adamant he won’t want a replacement best man. He is kind of irreplaceable, I’d become very close to him in the last year with the big secret that he was going to ask my fiancé to be his best man. We giggled about it a lot through the lockdowns, he wanted to ask in person and with restrictions it was only in November he finally got to ask.
We have two wee girls, I suppose they could do a reading or speech. They were originally going to be assisting us with the hand tying part of the ceremony.