Long term browser (remind me why it’s good to wait!)

[Heidi1990]

First time poster!

I am a 30 year old female, no children yet but hoping to start later this year.

OH has agreed we can start trying later this year and I am thrilled. Always been v broody and wanted to be done by the time I was 30, not just starting, but we live and learn. Wanted to be settled in our own property and financially secure. (I know there’s never a “right time”)

Currently improving my MH as I’ve struggled a bit the past year with lockdown/horse and family issues. I’ve struggled a lot with jealousy and overthinking. OH’s brother has met a girl and had a baby within a year and I have been with mine for 8 years now. Am happy to hold my hands up and admit a lot of it is down to jealousy but also don’t want to intentionally fall right now. Have seen how difficult pregnancy can be let alone in national lockdown.

So how do I remind myself to just enjoy the time now? Always feel like I’m waiting for the next month because it brings me closer but a lot of that is all the overthinking.

Please be kind, I am doing a lot for my MH at the moment to improve and have made some progress so feeling a lot more positive.

Just want people to put me off for now

I think that waiting a few months might be nice. You can plan a holiday and some nights out with your DP and just enjoy being together for now.

Is there a house move coming up? Is that why they want to wait?

That's what I've been doing, I've written a little list of things I can do before we start trying when lockdown starts to ease.

We moved into our first property late last year but we're living together with parents for the past 6 years whilst we saved.

Thank you.

Maybe think about the things you are doing now that would be hard with a baby (like spending time/money on the horse?) or a list of things you want to do before then? E.g. somewhere exotic you'd like to travel once it's safe, or a course you'd like to do, home improvements etc? Enjoy being a young carefree person and go to a bar/nice restaurant/late night cinema screening once they open.

If you work, have you looked at your employer's mat leave offering and worked out what if anything you would need to save on top? I am in a similar position to you, hoping to be able to start TTC next year. My employer offers 5 months on full pay and then another 5 months on SMP, so I need to save several grand beforehand to be able to pay the bills + baby expenses if I take a whole year which is what I'd want. It's motivating seeing the money add up in my savings account.

My employer offers 5 months on full pay and then another 5 months on SMP, so I need to save several grand beforehand to be able to pay the bills + baby expenses if I take a whole year which is what I'd want. It's motivating seeing the money add up in my savings account.

That's exactly what I did. I also bought a lot of stuff as cheaply as possible. I figured that the less I spent, the longer I could stay off with my LO

Thank you for the replies! That's exactly what I've done is a little list of all the things I want to do before hand like meeting up with family, getting stinking drunk with friends etc silly as that sounds.

We've done so much together and it's been wonderful. There's no need to rush this next step, we are happy enjoying each other's company and excited for the future, but nothing wrong with fitting in just a little more us time

Also you're right about checking maternity pay etc and sorting out who can look after baby when I go back to work etc is all things I've started looking at so I feel excited.

It's strange though, I've been told so much that I'm over thinking/planning it. It seems so bizarre to me that someone who plans for a baby is considered unusual now!