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Swallow my pride or stick up for myself?

1 reply

livetolearn · 28/07/2020 21:44

Hello all,
Firstly, I'm new so apologies if this is in the wrong place! I need some opinions...

About a year ago, my SIL stopped taking to me. Not really clear why... something about a FB post she thought was aimed at her (I'm not one to do that BTW. Hardly use social media!). She sent me a really nasty text telling me that she didn't like me very much and then blocked me. It's caused me a lot of stress because, A: my poor husband has been stuck in the middle and B: It's awful being made to feel like you are a terrible person when you have no idea why and you generally try to live your life being a nice person and pleasing everyone!
Anyway, her friend got in contact with my husband last week and explained that I hadn't really done anything. She is generally struggling with life and used me as a bit of a punching bag. She said that she needs some support at the moment but can't bring herself to meet up with me to talk things through as she knows that she was out of line and is embarrassed.
My husband (who is understandably concerned for his sister's mental health) has suggested that we meet up with her and act like nothing's the matter. We don't mention the year of her making me feel like utter crap, ignore the bloody massive elephant which will be sitting in the room and just have a jolly nice time.
I'm torn. If she is struggling with her mental health, I don't want to see her suffer. I also want to do what's right for my husband as it's his sister and at the moment, they don't speak because of it all (he has remained loyal to me). However, my ego is really struggling to get my head around meeting up and acting as though nothing has happened. I've felt such anger and upset towards her the last year, how do I hide that and paint on a smile? I am typically a person who likes to deal with things head on, talk them through and clear the air before things can go back to any kind of normality. I feel quite sick at the thought of meeting up for a 'lovely day' and not addressing the last year.
Help! What would you do?
Helen x

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LouiseTrees · 28/07/2020 21:48

I would suggest you address it by saying it hurt you but you are still there for her as family and she needs to understand you would never aim things at her. Rise above.

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