Mumsnet Logo
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Newbies' corner

Relationship advice

2 replies

Jessh28 · 24/07/2020 08:22

What would you do?

Iv been on and off with my partner for almost 6 years. At the beginning he was amazing, he said all the right things, done all the right things and pretty soon we were engaged. Things started to go down hill from here, he would be extremely paranoid, jealous, always questioning me for hours about where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, constantly checking my phone. He became violent when I fell pregnant with our first child. We would have physical fights, he would wreck my belongings, throw food at me, the list goes on.... Every time this happens he would put blame heavily on me saying I drove him to it, that I mentally abused him to the point he snaps. I would ALWAYS apologise.

I became pregnant with our second child and things became worse between us, he moved out and lived with his mum but would regularly come and visit us. We started to get on a bit better, and after I gave birth he moved back in to help. However I had two children close together and decided to breastfeed and co-sleep with the both of them, my other half stayed in a spare room and demanded he had 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep other wise it would affect his mental health, I felt so alone. My life changed dramatically, looking after 2 small children, trying to juggle work, house work, while he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, something he likes to blame on me that I caused him to have.

Things got really bad last year and we would have physical fights regularly and we would constantly be arguing, until he left and a fight ended with his arrest. We had no contact for a year and he didn’t see his children for 9 months. He entered into a new relationship 6 days after ours ended, I believe he was seeing this woman behind my back.

We got on separately with our lives, until I randomly bumped into him this year, he was full of promises that he’s changed, he loves me, he wants a family... however he was still in a relationship. He told me he left her, and we started to see where things went. Soon the jealousy came back and he would accuse me of lying to him, and he would “punish” me by cheating. He ended up having an affair with his ex girlfriend for 2 months, sleeping with the both of us, until I became pregnant (I ended up having a miscarriage) but she also claimed she was pregnant too. All this came out on the day I miscarried.
I lost my house and found myself having to live with my ex/partner again.

Things haven’t changed much, he’s very controlling and demands I change our children’s school to his area. I don’t want to do this as they already in a school in the area I used to live in, and hopefully in a few months be back in a house around that area.

He’s saying if I don’t change schools he will kick us out and end this relationship.

I don’t know what I want or what to do....

OP posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

MynameisHappind · 25/07/2020 05:00

You need to leave him and find somewhere else to live. I wouldnt let him near me or my kids.

Please
or
to access all these features

AllsortsofAwkward · 25/07/2020 05:04

Im suprised social services arent involved if there's physical violence and he was arrested. I don't mean to sound harsh youre life sounds chaotic pkease gdt done form of realiable contraception this is unfair on youre existing
children.

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?