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Why does my ex hate my kids so much

12 replies

nimeau · 03/03/2019 14:09

Hi I just would like someones take on this. My ex used to hate my kids and I wasnt able to talk about them or even mention their names when we were together. We broke up because he said something really bad about them. He has come back into my life again to support me in my current mental state and still wont let me talk about my kids and i need to talk about my son as we are having issues. He let me say some things but now he has changed his mind and as soon as i mentioned my son he went on to describe his first time with his first gf and said if i talk about my son again he will keep talking about his ex..I do not see how the two are the same thing and how can he compare a child to an ex but he says if i bring up disgusting things then so will he. How can anyone hate someones kids so much that they repulse them? He says he hates them because he definitely knows i slept with two guys. I dont know what to do cause he is helping me get out of the house and gives me money. Im so lost and confused sad

OP posts:
justmeandthisstateifmind · 03/03/2019 14:12

Why are you entertaining someone who hates your kids?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/03/2019 16:20

I'm sorry nimeau but I can't see how calling your children disgusting or controlling what you say is improving your mental health.

Is he very controlling over other things you do or say?

He says he hates them because he definitely knows i slept with two guys. This is another major red flag.

He's displaying a lot of controlling and abusive behaviour.

Are you sure you want your children to be around someone who says he hates them? What do you think that's doing to their mental health?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 05/03/2019 08:08

Sorry, I forgot to add that if your Mental Health is I need a poor state it might be worth speaking to MIND. Hace you spoken to your GP and told them how you are feeling too?

Can I ask if you’ve been in abusive relationships before? I Find it quite surprising that you’d tolerate someone in your life who is so controlling to you and mean about your DC and I’m wondering if you’ve had controlling partners before?

Longtalljosie · 05/03/2019 08:12

This is not the person to support you through poor mental health. He sees you’re weaker than usual and is worming his way back in

nimeau · 05/03/2019 09:58

Well i have to say this. I dont see my kids at the moment as i dont know where my daughter lives and my son wont talk to me cause we had a disagreement and im missing him and my dad terribly and its one reason why my mental health is not good at the moment. I dont have an other family and no friends to talk to about it. I needed to have someone in my life that is familiar to me as my mind is so messed up i cant make new friends. He let me talk about my son for a bit but now he just gets pissed of if i even dare mention his name. I know he is not really good for my mental health but he takes me out and gives me money which i desperately need at the moment cause without it i cant live. I have been in abusive relationships before yes but right now i have no choice. Its either either starve and be totally alone or let him support me in any way he can. Its very complicated :(

OP posts:
Ruru8thestars · 05/03/2019 10:03

It sounds like there’s a lot of backstory to this

3dogs2cats · 23/03/2019 22:41

Hi Nimeau,
So sorry that you are struggling. However this person is not supporting you. Real support is available, try Mind or Women’s Aid. Try reaching out to your family, but please leave your ex in the past.

nimeau · 23/03/2019 23:19

Hi 3dogs2cats I have no family that wants to know me and no friends so no other support which makes it very hard.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 23/03/2019 23:24

Get rid of him and rebuild your relationships with your kids. You'll never get better with that arsehole in your life.

BertrandRussell · 23/03/2019 23:27

Have you been to Women’s Aid?

nimeau · 24/03/2019 01:46

My kids don't want me in their lives so I can't rebuild the relationships sadly and I don't think we have any of those support networks in Australia

OP posts:
1LShel · 05/06/2019 11:36

Hi Nimeau, it has been a while since you messaged in this post. I hope the last couple of months have been good to you. I hope that you have rejoined with your children. One of the major signs of domestic abuse is the isolation of the person from their family and friends. I believe there is help in Australia. www.whiteribbon.org.au/find-help/
I hope that you are ok and feeling stronger.

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