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Am I in an abusive relationship?
Nerlin9812 · 04/01/2019 19:49
Hi Everyone. 1st post please be gentle:)
Posting as really need some advice from outside my circle. I've been seeing a man same age as me 35, for about a year. We both have professional jobs and don't live together. I have a DD 8, he has no kids. At first he was lovely attentive wanting to see me all the time which at first was great but become too much. He also texts and rings late, early,during the night.I havent had a good feeling for ages and there's been loads of arguments mainly about his behaviour. We split a few months ago then he came back very loving promising to change. If anything it's worse. I have kept my DD away from him for awhile not wanting her to pick up on any bad feelings which is pissing him off but hes now refusing to change saying i frustrate him thats why hes horrible. I get told to eff off if i say something sometimes jokingly he doesn't like. His moods change rapidly. He changes what he wants daily. Wants the relationship then doesn't then i should find someone else then he'll be annoyed if i do. His mother left his father when he waa young as a result he has zero respect for women. He's always badly done to and his life is crap (its not). If i point out good things he has such as a recent holiday (i couldn't afford it and have been ill) his answer was he can't help good things happening to him!!. Also i should add. couple of wks ago he sent me random sexual aggressive texts. he is very selfish in the bedroom never doing anything for me amd is a very defensive person but isnt adventurous in bed so came as a shock adding to my discomfort. theres a strange air when I'm with him as in i feel uncomfortable. He is currently on day 4 of not speaking to me due to him offering to take me and DD out i said no until things improve. He accused me of not appreciating him and being difficult and the excuse was for the aggressive txts was he likes sex. Theres loads more but too much for here. I suppose just wondering if this is all me as he says or if this sounds mental to everyone else aswell. thx all Xx
Cel982 · 04/01/2019 19:51
He sounds horrible and it doesn't seem like you're getting anything positive out of the relationship. End it.
MozzchopsThirty · 04/01/2019 19:51
Oh fuck that
Walk away
What are you getting out of this 'relationship'?
TheSmallAssassin · 04/01/2019 19:52
He doesn't seem to have any redeeming qualities, why are you still with him?
ElspethFlashman · 04/01/2019 19:54
And you haven't told him to fuck off and blocked his number WHY???
disneyprincess87 · 04/01/2019 19:54
You and your daughter deserve much more than this. Imagine your daughter was going through this, what would you say to her and what would you want for her.
Sending hugs xx
Nerlin9812 · 04/01/2019 20:19
Thank you all for your replies.
I feel stupid tbh for being taken in by him and letting it go on. I'm usually a very confident person and this is diminishing all the time. I suppose he's been very convincing blaming me and i felt sorry for him as he's played on a bad childhood so much. I know i must end it for the sake of DD and myself. Thanks ladies Xx
AFistfulofDolores1 · 04/01/2019 20:20
He is awful.
Why do you want to be with an awful man?
What have you learned about love and relationships?
What was your parents' relationship like?
What were your parents like to you? Can you see a parallel?
If you can, find a good therapist, and talk it out.
PixieDust92 · 12/01/2019 20:14
Oh he is a mind fuck.
He is abusive and you should leave before it gets a lot worse this is clearly just the beginning.
I’m sorry but his excuse for being like this towards women isn’t because his dad walked out that’s a cheap excuse for a pathetic excuse of a man. He has no respect because he’s an asshole x
boringlyboring · 12/01/2019 20:57
None of it is good but amongst everything this is the most alarming:
I have kept my DD away from him for awhile not wanting her to pick up on any bad feelings which is pissing him off
It’s a massive sign to keep him away from her imo. I can’t think of an innocent reason why he’d be pissed off for not having access to your child (especially considering he won’t have known her that long, so not exactly able to develop a bond)
Glad you have seen it for what it is now, be good to yourself and DD 
Theladyisok · 16/01/2019 12:26
Don't blame yourself! He is the one at fault. Be proud you have ended the relationship. Pat yourself in the back. Take daughter on holiday and enjoy your life.xx
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