Broodiness is ruining my life!

[Milliejess]

Hi there newbie here, this is my first post and probably the reason I joined the site. I'm so fricking broody. Sorry in advance for long post.
A bit of a backstory to start. I'm 21yo have no children and I'm am currently not TTC(feel a bit of a fraud tbh). I work part time with and have an amazing partner whom I do not live with. I am currently not financially stable. I have a chronic pain illness and possibly something wrong with my periods. Depression (in the past) and anxiety.

Ok. So now we've got that out of the way, I have been broody for so long, since I was like 17 but over the past year and a half it has got to the point where it has affected my life. I am not ready for a child as seen above. But if there is something wrong that means I'll have trouble conceiving I don't know what I'd do. I am at a total loss. I've tried everything. I've tried baby sitting (made it worse), getting another pet(didn't work) watching videos of birth to try and dissuade myself (didn't work) talking myself out of it and being sensible works for about at day and I have to keep doing it everyday. I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. It's all I think about all the time. This is utter hell right now. AIBU? any tips or tricks would be much appreciated tia. XOX

Broodiness is very normal and common and it's easy to get fixated on it so I wouldn't 'worry' about feeling the way you do. I think you need to start thinking about it from a child's point of view. It would be really unfair for you to have a baby now. To have a child now would be you putting your needs above that of a hypothetical child.

You have to think of the long term goal. You are on this planet for a long time and you need to think how things are going to pan out over the years. You MUST try and get the basics sorted out before you bring an innocent child into the mix - get your mental health, finances, career prospects, support, relationship etc etc as good as possible then you can have a baby.

Obviously it's not always possible to have a baby with everything being perfect but you've at least got to give it a shot.

Keep reminding yourself that it would be selfish to have a baby now.

21 is still young and although you are an adult you will find that you will still mature over the next few years. You should also be busy making the most of your child free years if you can. I wonder if some younger Mums chose to have babies to give themselves a sense of purpose. IDK?

Good luck for the future.

It sounds like anxiety about being infertile is more of a problem than the broodiness. If you were financially stable I would say to address it by having a savings cushion in case you need treatment. But as you can’t, perhaps looking for ways to handle the anxiety?
Also keep going back to the doctor’s about the problem with your periods.