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Original poster

Fostering With A Disability

21 replies

Ivy222 · 12/12/2018 13:47

I'm new here and looking to hear people's experiences of fostering, especially if you, as a carer, are disabled.

I have two grown up children and am now going down the fostering journey. I am single and disabled and am interested in other people's stories.

I have just been told by the local authority that my application has been closed, I don't know if this is because of my disability or some other reason, they said it's because my daughter is ill.....I had to cancel my training as my daughter, who is 25, was in hospital. It all sounds a bit dodgy to me.

OP posts:

CanSurvive · 12/12/2018 13:51

Best thing to do would be to ask the reasons why directly. Although they probably think maybe your daughter is long term ill and you rightly have to give your attention to her, that if you have to cancel the training you can’t give all your attention to a foster child.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/12/2018 13:57

It will be because you cancelled your training

LaurieFairyCake · 12/12/2018 14:00

Though obviously they are allowed to turn you down for any reason including disability

Original poster

Ivy222 · 12/12/2018 14:31

I have asked for the details they hold on me under the Freedom of Information Act

They aren't legally allowed to turn people down because of a disability unless they can't look after a child, which I can.

My daughter is 25 and doesn't live with me, they made assumptions about my situation without asking me which is really out of order in my opinion.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 12/12/2018 14:48

I assumed you'd been through the process? Where they interview you over an extended period of time?

Original poster

Ivy222 · 12/12/2018 15:12

I applied in February and had a 3 hour initial meeting, the next training sessions were in June (you have to do 3 consecutive Saturdays) when I had a holiday booked. They then told me the next training was October but totally forgot I was going so I had to make calls and make sure I was booked on. Unfortunately this is when my daughter was in hospital, they didn't ask me anything about her condition or her age but made assumptions. But, again, because you have to do the consecutive days I couldn't go on this training. They then said I would be booked onto the January training and they would get me a 'buddy' for the meantime to help me along the way.
I then had an email to say that due to my daughter being ill they wanted to close my application! They still haven't asked me anything about my situation!
They expect you to do the training BEFORE any assessment is carried out. I was a social worker and worked in children's services as well as other areas so the training for me is a formality and private foster agencies work round potential foster carers as they are desperate.
There are so many children in need yet this is what happens. I don't know if they assume my disability is going to be a problem but, again, they should speak to me and it is against the law to discriminate.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 12/12/2018 15:40

Ah right. I assume now from your further post it's a mistake then?

RCohle · 12/12/2018 16:08

I'm not sure why you are assuming this is to do with your disability.

They have told you it is because of your daughter's illness. If her illness wouldn't impact your ability as a foster carer then contact them to discuss this. It may well have been a mistaken assumption on their part.

To be honest, if there is a nefarious secret reason to have rejected your application, I imagine it is your repeated lack of availability to do the training course. They are looking for people who are very dedicated to the process.

Original poster

Ivy222 · 12/12/2018 16:23

Ok, I didn't say it was to do with my disability, I said that it could be. The reason is that they didn't know about it until I told them once the October training began so it seems like it could be an issue, considering they have made assumptions all along WITHOUT actually speaking to me why would I not wonder about it?? RCohle, did you properly read my last comment? I said they had made assumptions about my daughter's illness, THAT is the point.
I know exactly how the process works and I am totally dedicated! If I wasn't I wouldn't be doing it. Other fostering agencies work around their carers and really look after them because they know how incredibly important they are.
RCohle what is your experience of fostering?

OP posts:

lpchill · 12/12/2018 16:41

My experience working in youth work is that the people who are looking after your case tend to be overworked so a lot of stuff can fall through the cracks or they made an assumption to save time. Bad I know but they are really underfunded and understaffed.

My advise is to contact them to clear up the misunderstanding over your daughters illness. (Without accusations just "oh I think an assumption was made can I explain what happened as I'm really keen to foster". This will put you in good light with them as you will be seen as proactive. If you want to continue the application once it's hopefully cleared up be more proactive and keep on top of them to ensure no dates are missed and your booked onto the correct training sessions.

RCohle · 12/12/2018 16:51

Yes I read your last comment, hence why my advice was to contact them to discuss it, as a mistake may well have been made. I'm not quite sure why my suggestion has upset you

I'm sure you are very dedicated but not being able to attend two training courses in a row (however unavoidable the circumstances) may not have best conveyed that dedication.

My brother and SIL have been fostering for over 10 years. I have never been a foster parent personally.

Original poster

Ivy222 · 12/12/2018 18:03

Ipchill I have over 20 years experience which includes youth work, I am fully aware of how overworked people are, however that does not excuse incompetence. I didn't ask for your advise, I don't think you have the relevant experience to offer me any.
I wasn't looking for advice, my initial post said I am "looking to hear people's experiences of fostering, especially if you, as a carer, are disabled.
I have two grown up children and am now going down the fostering journey. I am single and disabled and am interested in other people's stories."
If I need advice I know where to go and I don't need it from anyone with little experience of the situation, FYI I have done everything the right way as anyone with experience would do. I was just offering my experience as a starting point.
RCohle, you can also read the above. I don't need advice, I know exactly what to do and have done what is necessary. I am after people with actual lived experience that know and understand the fostering process, especially those with disabilities. It is about people's stories and experiences and not up for assumptions and judgements, there is enough of that going on thank you.

I would like to add I will not be continuing with my application to a local authority as my skills and experience are being utilised by an agency that also looks after it's foster carers.

PLEASE CAN PEOPLE READ THE ORIGINAL POST: I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE WITH LIVED EXPERIENCES PLEASE.

OP posts:

lpchill · 12/12/2018 19:04

Then I would suggest you post under becoming a parent and fostering rather than the newbies corner.

You posted in newbies corner where people will try and help each other. Your original post came off as you where struggling with the fact that your application was closed and other posters have tried to help based on the information. (Sometimes our intentions or feelings come across wrong when written)

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 12/12/2018 19:09

Can’t imagine why people wouldn’t want to help you op

RCohle · 12/12/2018 19:27

Ok OP, very happy not to spend any more of my time trying to help you out.

Given you "don't need advice"^ and "know exactly what to do and have done what is necessary"^ then I'm not sure what exactly you are looking for on MN, but I wish you the best of luck.

Original poster

Ivy222 · 12/12/2018 21:14

I didn't ask for you to help me out, I don't know where you got that idea from. Read my original post! What would have been nice and decent was if those that thought I was posting in the wrong area had put me on the right track in the first place, that is called being decent and welcoming.

OP posts:

MiniMum97 · 12/12/2018 23:35

I think I can see why your fostering application was closed. Read through this thread. You are getting very angry and frustrated when people are being perfectly pleasant. They may not be posting exactly what you want but your reaction is way over the top. If SS have seen evidence of this I imagine they would have concerns about your ability to foster.

Original poster

Ivy222 · 13/12/2018 11:49

MiniMum97, I think you will find you are wrong. You have no idea about me or why the case was closed, it was in fact due to their total incompetence. I am assertive, that does not stop an application for fostering from going ahead. Do you have any experience of fostering?

It seems you have read something into this that isn't actually there. I would say some people have actually been rude to me but we can all see things how we wish to see them and not as they are intended and it is not something I get worried about, there are a lot of rude people in this world.

If you read back through the thread you will see I wasn't looking for advice so was trying to get people to see that they were wasting mine and their time by giving it.

OP posts:

MiniMum97 · 13/12/2018 14:27

I don’t think anyone has been rude on this thread other than you.

CanSurvive · 14/12/2018 07:27

Nice

bananananananana · 14/12/2018 07:38

Woah

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