Can't talk to anyone else

[AmIlivingonanotherplanet]

Hi all,
Need a safe place to scream and vent. Trying to conceive with husband for 9 years, had 2 miscarriages in that time. Have son from previous relationship. My sister announced earlier this year she was pregnant, very happy for her and her husband. Lovely news. But the fuss the family is making over it is overwhelming. Yes I am sad for me, and yes I am jealous. But, I found out today that we are now apparently celebrating her starting maternity leave. Have I missed something? Is this a new trend? Or just my family being over the top?

Good grief! It's not something I have ever heard of.

I am having to organise the baby shower, something I really didn't want to do. One because my sister said she hates going to all her friends baby showers as doesn't 'believe' in them but it's a way to get all her money back for stuff she has brought. 2: it reminds me that I had no one want to throw me a baby shower.
It just seems my family want to be extra involved with her pregnancy and I got told to leave home when I found out I was pregnant!
I was 21 when I had my son and still lived at home. She is married and 31 (2 years younger than me) and own their home.

So sorry for how you're feeling. Nope I've never heard of a celebration of starting maternity leave 😂

Hi there,

1. We aren't Americans: they are the ones with the baby showers.
2. Celebrating Maternity Leave is NOT a thing.
3. If your sister didn't want to buy her 'friends' presents then she shouldn't have. That's like inviting people to your wedding just to get the presents - I personally hate that!
4. You are not obliged to throw the BS (pun slightly intended). Your family are being rather insensitive imo. You can ask but you can't expect. Perhaps you could throw the shower if you want to, but give your family a gentle reminder that you are still TTC and so being expected to do xyz is a bit much... All the best to you and TTC, Idiom

Thanks. I am going to do the BS but I am not doing anymore than that.
I have got it all off my chest and feel a bit better for doing so!

I'm glad you're feeling better, sometimes we just need a good vent! I know what it's like to be TTC -
only for 4 years but looking less and less likely at the moment that I'm fertile.

Take care
Your still very much loved to be included in your sisters joy
Don't despair off load then try and remember your glass is half full not empty

I felt in a similar position when my sister had her child, 13 years after my 'mistake' not on my part I hasten to add... since her boy was born he instantly became the golden child and I was expected to be the party organiser, babysitter and advice giver yet my son was and still continues to be ignored by the rest of my family. He is constantly referrered to as 'the one that surprisingly turned out ok' it just makes me sad now not angry. I feel sad for my son that not only has no father willing to stick around or even meet this amazing boy but a family that doesn't support or respect his mother and avoids him. He has to witness the adoration of his cousin and adores him also.

Never do what you don't want. Fuck them all xxx

We all need praise love and approval especially from the ones we love. Life can be a hard learning curve, and we expect our loved ones to be without fault. Unfortunately the pain loved ones cause can be unbearable, but your son is so loved that evan now he can show that to his cousin. You must be a fantastic mother and roll model, as he's learning to love from someone. Take care