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Newbies' corner

Toxic friendship

7 replies

Zombiedropoutmum · 02/10/2018 20:00

Hi. I'm new but I really need some advice from those of you that have lost your best friend.
I'm socially awkward and find it hard making friends. I guess its because I've been used too many times wnd struggle to put in boundaries.
Today my best friend decided that I am no longer worth her time. She's always been extremely judgemental and likes to think she's better than everyone else, and i just overlooked it as was so grateful to have what I thought was a great friend. She seemed to thrive when others suffered misfortune and would continually tell me what I should be doing.
Her and her children stayed for a long weekend in the summer. It was absolutely awful. She was extremely lazy and her parenting was awful. Her youngest is a spiteful child who punched and kicked my son, yet somehow it ended up being my sons fault. She's constantly belittled my partner, her husband actually cheated on her but its my partner who is the waste of space. She is jealous of anyone who she deems is doing better than her. After her recent behaviour towards me I asked her what was wrong, she became aggressive towards me, invalidated my feelings and told me she didn't have time for me and my drama. I told her exactly what I thought of her and felt better for doing so. I now feel really sad about the whole situation. I know she is toxic and I'm better off without her but she was the only person other than my partner who i spoke to and now I'm just frightened of never having another friend.

OP posts:
sleepismysuperpower1 · 02/10/2018 20:22

maybe you could join a new group or club to meet people?

-book club
-cookery class
-sewing class
-running club
-gym class

DaddyAJ · 04/10/2018 04:43

Toxic? Quite frankly I would use plain English and say she isn't very nice. You don't need her as she is, she needs you to balance her life. Make an effort and cast your net further for friendship. Change your view point in life. You might see other opportunities. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes our strength aren't clear to us, ask your partner. If you go looking for something you'll find it. Don't forget it might take a while. It's a journey. Do nothing, get nothing. Do the same, get the same. It's your life, you have control. Go for it! Confidence comes from self belief. Smile and be nice to others. You'll find what you're looking for.

MistressDeeCee · 04/10/2018 06:47

Sometimes you have to get up and make life happen. Friendships arent going to happen if you waste time on stupid people like that and sit between 4 walls worrying about them. She's gone. Don't allow her back into your life she's a waste of space and energy

If friendship apps and Meetup Groups may be too much for you, try a new hobby where there's no pressure on friendship but you could meet people. Either way get out and about. Loads to do out there, with the possibility of gaining a new social life too

lovesugarfreejelly63 · 04/10/2018 06:53

With friends like that who needs enemies.

Mindy2015 · 04/10/2018 21:59

She really wasn’t a good friend, I’d rather no friends than one like that casting negativity over your life, it really is not a loss!!
Though I do see your point as similar happened to me, it hurt initially but it wasn’t long before I realised a wait had been lifted. I don’t have many friends but it’s quality over quantity. Life changes all the time you will make new friends in time just stop over thinking it!!! Smile

Mindy2015 · 04/10/2018 22:00

*weight

Angelcd · 14/10/2018 21:32

Your better off without her, its her loss not yours. Im shy and ive made new friends when my youngest was at nursery .think most people have a friend like yours ,i know i do & ive kinda cut myself off from her ,life is too short.
U could make friends on here even if it is just a message x

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