I found out this morning that I'm pregnant, it's unplanned and I'm trying to work out what to do. I'm single, 26 and a PhD student (I have a few years left until I finish). The father is my housemate and best friend and adamantly doesn't want children. I've told him, and he's tried to support me but is very very distressed by the idea that I might not terminate... I've made it clear to him that if I continued the pregnancy I wouldn't expect any support from him and wouldn't put his name on the birth cert. unless he decided he wanted to be involved, but he feels like me keeping the baby would end our friendship.
I've told my mum, dad and sister today - I'm very close to all of them, and they've told me they will support me and love me no matter what I do. My parents have offered that I could live with them if I continued the pregnancy, and they would help me somewhat financially. They are based in London and I live in Scotland with friends (including the father), but that would end if I kept the baby.
I'm such a mess and just don't know what I want. There are so many practical reasons that having an abortion would be the better option. Although my parents will be able to help me financially I don't want to be a burden on them, and my PhD stipend is £14500 tax-free, I have no idea if I could stretch that for me and a baby. Plus, it would become much harder to finish my PhD. My university is pretty flexible with distance working and taking time off, but I have no doubts that studying will be much harder with a baby.
But I love children, and in spite of all the difficulties I can't help but feel like I want this baby. I also don't want to lose my friends though, and the life I have now. I'm visiting my family on Thursday which is good, we'll be able to talk through it all in person and I can get some hugs.
I'm so confused, scared and upset... I'd love advice if anyone has any.
Deciding between an abortion and continuing pregnancy
powerwordfeel · 14/08/2018 21:23
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