Broody and struggling

[Thursday96]

Hi all, sorry to be posting here (as I don't have kids) but I'm not sure where else to turn.

I'm 22 and have just graduated from uni, where I met my boyfriend, and am about to start a one-year masters course. Both my partner and I are ready to move in and start a family, the only problem is that we both live with our parents and are an hour and a half drive away (although we plan to live near my family). We have a plan and a general idea of when things will happen, having taken finances, saving, and education into account, and plan to live together within 2 years.

Getting to the point, I am severely broody and don't know what to do. Seeing a baby makes me so emotional, I feel empty and alone. I'm struggling to get through some days and recently have been breaking down in tears daily. I have some friends from school that didn't attend uni that have now moved in with partners and are engaged which only makes things worse; I don't regret going to uni but I see how it has made my financial situation take a back seat.

I was just wondering if anyone has any tips on how to cope with these feelings until our situation allows us to start our family.

Love and thanks
Thursday96

I really would wait... having been to uni etc too I knew I couldn’t even consider kids until I had a house and a secure job to support any children I may have..

The only other option.. do you need a masters? Can you get the job you want without and return to masters later on?

Also if you don’t live together I’d spend time learning to live together before you bring a child along

Uni is an investment to deliver a better financial outcome! You can’t get it all at once. Appreciate you’re broody, I was a bit too at that age (and I’m still with my then boyfriend) but you really need to give yourself a shake and focus on developing all the other aspects of who you are for a few years.

I'd wait you still have a lot of time to have a baby.. Get your house and job first take time out with your partner and travel. I agree you need to learn to live together it is completely dif than what you dream it will be like trust me... Be selfish for a while before you take on the huge responsibility of children . Take it from someone who didn't do all the selfish stuff before getting pregnant . My partner and I had children young.. And although they are amazing. I wish we had done all those selfish things together before we started... Children don't come cheap and we will never get that experience of being completely carefree travelling the world enjoying being young together

From what you've written you seem to want to fast forward to living together with your partner and having babies running about. Unfortunately those things take time to come about for the vast majority of us.

I think you would be better served making yearly goals which facilitiate your ultimate ambition of becoming a mum. For example-

• 2018/2019 complete Masters, look at grad schemes and start applying for jobs
• 2019/2020 start post grad job, move in with partner
• 2020/2021 work hard, save, kit out house (because you'll probably have FA furniture etc) get to the point where you're entitled to your employers' maternity scheme.

At the end of that you'll be what, 25? If you can squeeze in a few holidays or wedding in there, mores the better. A priority should be getting a half decent job to support said baby and living with your partner to make sure you're a good fit together. Completely different kettle of fish to living at home and visiting once or twice a week.

Thank you for all your replies and help. To clear things up I have no intention of starting a family yet as I know that would not be a wise move at all. We have lived together whilst at uni but again this is different from the real thing which I do understand. I was just wondering if there’s any methods people find helpful to steer their mind away from the broodiness.

I suppose think of things you would love to achieve before children. Travel is harder. Really showing commitment to study or work is harder. I got the promotion I wanted and moved countries ( but of course these things need to be feasible within a reasonable time frame, of course I’m not saying wait for ever). So enjoy everything you can child free- spending time with your dp is the biggest one. I miss running with my dp, meeting up after work for a drink, just going for a walk in these lovely summer evenings, going on differrnt types of holidays, wearing heels because I’m not diving after a toddler ... going to the trendy cafes that only have stools and no space for a buggy.