8year old refusing to go to bed

[Happymummy17]

Hello, I’m new here so bare with me !!
I have a 8 year old son who is very sensitive. He doesn’t really enjoy school so Sunday evenings are a bad time for him. He’s recently started to refuse to go to bed. His dad & my self with each take a turn to wish him goodnight. Once we’ve left the room he will scream and keep getting out. I’ve tried to be kind, calm take things away from him he just doesn’t care 🙈 when I talk to him he just says he doesn’t want us to leave him. I’ve explained that I’m in the room next door. I think he’s suffering from separation anxiety. What can I do to help him with daddy this ? Or what help would a professional give ? I’m not sure where she I go with this 😢😢

What’s happening at school? Are you working on that?

Once he’s in school he’s fine. Again it’s just the saying goodbye thing . He has a big group of lovely friends

Do you read to him in bed OP? My DD is older but we still read to her as it helps to relax her. If you don’t, it might be worth trying for a week and seeing if it helps. My DD also loves Sleepy by Lush. You only need a bit.

Which aspects of school is he unhappy about?

We don’t read to him at bedtime. I kind of like to keep it short but sweet if you know what I mean! I find the longer we’re with him
In room the worse he is. Like he will call for one more kiss or cuddle but we could do this all night if I’d let him!! The stuff you say from lush is that like a relaxer ?
We only have trouble at school when I drop him off Which is why I think maybe it’s separation anxiety related

ThecLush stuff contains lavender which is a relaxant but also a sleep inducer.

I know you like to keep it short and sweet, but it seems he might have other ideas

Maybe he's just needing you to settle him at night. I know what you are saying about not wanting to hang around but it's clear he needs you right now. You might need to get a third party to help if needs be but for now give him the attention he needs. Try read to him before bed or find him things to do in bed to fall asleep. Does he like music or books?

Have you tried going back in every, say 15 or 20 minutes?

On the occasion he’s got really upset I’ve obviously sat with him to calm him and he will then read a book to take time out for abit. Like tonight he’s played up big time 🙈 I’ve calmed him down countless times then when it’s time for me to leave we go back and to square one!
I don’t want to seek “medical” advise if it’s not necessary but I’m kind of stuck in a rut with him. Will try taking him up earlier each night to read & have a chat (if he wants to) see how we get on 😊

I used to say things like "I'm just popping down to do the dishes, I'll be back in 5 minutes", or "I'm just going to tidy up", or whatever.

But be sure to always go back when you say you will.

Leave him if he cries, but always keep your word and go back.

You can gradually extend the time, but always go back.

It only took a couple of weeks and then nine times out of ten DD would be asleep when I went back.

Thank you will give it a go 👍🏻🤣

DD is 6 and used to be like this.... i just read her a story then sit with her until she drops off... I know what you mean about wanting to keep it short & sweet but now I sit with her for about 5 minutes & she's asleep where as before I was up & down the stairs and in & out of her room for an hour or more so this is definitely my preference now