I'm new here and in desperate need of insight.
My youngest, who is 14 this month, has always had mood swings and periods of time when she would become really mean without warning, even to her best friends.
But these sudden mood shifts used to be brief. Her playful and happy nature was the dominant trait in her personality.
As she hit 12, the balance changed in favour of the negative traits. She would make very hurtful remarks for no reason and stopped being cooperative and helpful.
By the time she was 13, she became truly complacent and rude.
In the past year, she developped a habit of making really nasty remarks. She would voice her criticism towards her older sister but especially towards me which makes me defensive and irritated. She'd question what I have been doing all day long (I'm self employed private tutor, interpretor and translator, working from home most of the time, and having to juggle household choores and work at the same time), but this doesn't seem to be that obvious to her and when I bring things to her attention, she doesn't want to see it. More recently, she started saying that I'm useless and that nothing I do has real value. I believe that her remarks are not suited neither for her age nor for her position as a child in the family, though I can't help but get defensive and irritated when she says that. I also feel that she has no real respect or appreciation for me and it grieves me to the bone that all those years that I spent loving and nurtring are going to go down the drain and that by the time she's an adult, we'll have no relationship or soever. I don't want to go through the path of ignoring her and just trying to stay out of her way as I'm doing now. I feel my heart is hardening towards her and I don't want to lose that natural love that I've had for her. What should I do? Please advise and sorry for the length.