Newbies' corner
Childcare help, new born (Mums had to go into hospital)
user1527950919 · 02/06/2018 16:07
Hi there,
I haven't had much time to research the best place to put this but please advise if there is a better area.
I'm a Dad to a new born baby (just a week old), my wife shortly after giving birth unfortuently has become quite unwell and has had to go into hospital.
As a new Dad this experience has been difficult but me and my Son are doing OKAY, he's even put weight on within the first week from birth which the Midwife was very happy about, however I'm hitting a snagging point.
Please don't judge me, but I have to find someone to help out with my new born while Mummy is unwell -- I am the bread winner and must get back to work very soon or I risk loosing our livelihood, I'm self employed so there isn't any option of taking more leave.
What do people usually do in this scenario? I have pinged a few emails out to local childminders/nannies however I'm still waiting for replys right now. Also a quick ad on Care.com has come back with some messages but I'd have to fork out £30 before I could even read them and I'm skeptical if they are genuine enquires.
I'm Leeds based.
Thanks a lot
Simon
Gratefulninja · 02/06/2018 16:09
Gosh don’t really have any practical advice but didn’t want to read and run. I bet you’re doing a bloody good job so don’t just say you’re doing ‘okay’. Do you not have any friends or family who are close who can help? Good luck OP xx
HolidayHelper · 02/06/2018 16:12
Hi Simon. I'm really sorry you'r in this situation! Please avoid Care.com like the plague, it's just a bunch of fake profiles. Childcare.co.uk is probably your best bet. Are you looking for someone to live in or daily?
Curlyone123 · 02/06/2018 16:18
The best thing to do is go on Facebook and search Leeds mums. There will be a Facebook page where all local Leeds mums ask questions to each other. There will be childcare help on there if you put an advert in it! And it’s free.
Good luck.
TeaandHobnobs · 02/06/2018 16:21
I would go to a decent local nanny agency. Yes, you will have to pay agency fees, but if you are considering leaving your newborn with someone, you really should go with someone who is properly checked and referenced.
Not my area, I'm afraid, so I can't advise on a specific agency.
I hope your wife is better very soon.
Thesearmsofmine · 02/06/2018 16:21
Try looking for a maternity nurse, they usually help very new mums.
user1527950919 · 02/06/2018 16:22
Unfortuently we're a very spread out bunch and right now I'm just so embaressed so be asking friends to look after my new born :(
Thanks for your kind words
user1527950919 · 02/06/2018 16:24
Thanks everyone for your replies and ideas, the response so fast is really making me feel a lot better.
I'm going to investigate a few of the ideas suggested right away, I will get back shortly if I have anymore questions, and thanks for the well wishes too.
Rachelsholiday · 02/06/2018 16:25
You are probably entitled to parental leave as well as paternity leave have you spoken to your employer?
Otherwise I world approach a nanny agency where you can get good references
Gratefulninja · 02/06/2018 16:28
I know it may seem like a big think to ask but do it :-) I would be more than happy to help out a friend or family member and would hate to think they couldn’t ask :-)
oldbirdy · 02/06/2018 16:28
In this circumstance I would be approaching my employer for special leave. Any idea how long your partner is likely to be in hospital? As an employer I would agree paid special leave in these circumstances. Or take annual leave?
Also - don't you get two weeks' paid paternity leave?
JobHunting4 · 02/06/2018 16:28
It all depends on why she is unwell, but I was readmitted with all of mine and because it was maternity related, I kept the babies with me. Not my older ones, but the newborn ones. I assume this isn't an option though...
Hope all goes well for you and you're all back home together soon
SinkGirl · 02/06/2018 16:29
Might sound weird but try your local twin Facebook group. Lots of twin parents hire help when they come home from hospital so they should have recommendations for people experienced in caring for newborns. I think most people hire nursery nurses for newborns.
I know it’s so hard - DH and I are both self employed, when our twins were born ond came home after two weeks, the other was in for two months, and then I had to stay in hospital with one for two weeks while he was in with the other. But childcare for a newborn is so expensive it ended up being the best option. Depending on what type of business you have, how a longer break would impact and what you earn, you need to weigh up your options.
I hope your wife is okay and home soon, must be very hard for her emotionally 
strawberrysparkle · 02/06/2018 16:29
Simon, you sound like you are doing a fantastic job with your new baby in such an awful situation.
Are you employed or self employed? Have a look at your works policy to see about parental leave policy if your employed.
If not look at childcare.co.uk for local childminders in your area.
Your poor partner and you, what an awful situation to be in. Keep on keeping on.
BrazzleDazzleDay · 02/06/2018 16:30
Please don't be too embarrassed to ask friends for help temporarily. I bet they would be more than happy to help
SinkGirl · 02/06/2018 16:33
Definitely ask friends. Most people want to help in situations like this - even someone helping one day a week or here and there could save you a lot of stress. Do you work from Home? If you got someone in to do cleaning, help with laundry, bottles etc would you be able to do some work around the baby sleeping short term? If you’re at home working but can essentially supervise then it may be much easier to get someone to come and help than if you have to go and leave them to it.
As hard as it is right now, I can tell you that this is going to do amazing things for your bond with your baby - neither of my twins have ever had a preference for me over my DH, they want cuddles from us equally, I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that he spent so much time caring for them alone in those early months.
Kaykay06 · 02/06/2018 16:38
Private nanny, peads nurse or maternity nurse, (norland nanny type company) is there no way baby could stay with mum, such a shame at a time when you should all be enjoying your new addition.
I hope you find someone and your wife is feeling better and home with you very soon
snozzlemaid · 02/06/2018 16:49
Your local family information service will have info about childcare providers in your area...
https://familyinformation.leeds.gov.uk/families/0-to-5-years-childcare
ThePencil · 02/06/2018 16:56
Definitely ask around friends if it's likely to be fairly short term. In many ways, a newborn is quite "easy" to look after (though it doesn't seem like that when it's your own first baby) a all they do really is feed and sleep and poo. Do you have any friends with reliable teenagers/student children who've finished exams and are off for the summer and would help out? That might be a solution if you work from home - you'd be around for real emergencies and to keep an eye on things, but other than that they're basically just doing feeds and nappy changes.
If your wife will be in longer term, or needs a recovery period, then yes, a maternity nurse or nanny is probably best.
NapQueen · 02/06/2018 16:58
Some childminders are willing to take a newborn (my own mum is a CM and she took a baby from 3wo).
SinkGirl · 02/06/2018 17:07
Also, ask your HV to refer you to Homestart, they may have a volunteer who can help out occasionally to take the pressure off.
Xiaoxiong · 02/06/2018 17:49
At a week old the midwives should still be caring for the baby? Or have you been handed over to the health visitors already?
I ask because my appendix burst when my son was 4 weeks - my husband was back at work by then, and the health visitors organised a mother's help to come in, as well as some other help for us until family could get to us. Our friends and neighbours were amazing as well, they organised a rota for food, babysitting, and transport.
Xiaoxiong · 02/06/2018 17:50
Also we never had any luck with websites - find a local nanny agency, they will be able to sort out short term placements, check references for you and screen out the timewasters. Worth every penny.
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