New partners controlling daughters

[Shelby6]

Looking for advice.. in a fairly new relationship . And my girlfriend's daughters dictate the pace to her.. telling her what to do when she can and cannot see me... even saying no contact on phone when they are at home. As They want her to spend time with them... they speak to her in such an awful way. I don't get involved . But the other night . They told me what's what and I just responded calmly . Saying please don't be respectful . This was over a Sleep over our first. They didn't like the idea . So slept at there aunts house... it sounds like something out the dark ages . Oh and I feel like shrek 😔 any advice welcome...

You may be better to post this in Relationships for more answers.

How old are the girls?

What does your partner say about these issues?

There could be a settling-in period as the girls warm up to you, but if this behaviour continues maybe this relationship isn't the one for you.

You say it's a fairly new one? How long have you been seeing each other? If you aren't too heavily invested in this relationship already, it may be better to cut your losses and run.

I've known her about a year... the girls are 18 and 16.... and control her .. romantically together 4 months ... it's they are doing everything in there powers to ruin the situation... the way they demand and order her about is shocking.. she does as they tell her... they told her to see me once a week... I've always liked her ... I see this going the distance. But the children's attitude is just awful.... if i was out having a meal and someone spoke to her like that I would surely have something to say. But I have to keep tight lipped....

Hmm. I've never been in your situation but I am sure if you get this thread posted in Relationships you will get plenty of advice from people who have been there.

If your partner does not see a problem with their behaviour, this is going to be very difficult for you I think. At least while they live at home.

Do you think they have a problem with you or is it more that they are just so used to bossing her, it's a habit with them now?

I'd walk.

Is this the first same sex relationship they have known their mother to have? Could they be struggling with that side if it? No one wants to think of their parent's sex life too deeply but a change in sexuality might make them uncomfortable for that reason?

My mother dated someone when I was that age and I was the same way. I didn't like him staying over, because the idea creeped me out and I was particularly possessive over my space and time and felt like he was invading it.

It's not "right", but it was a genuine feeling, and the more my mother forced it, the more oppositional I became.

I never tried to impose or force anything .. I respect people but they have little or no respect... for there mother. I've kept out of it.. there father was domineering towards her so perhaps that's where it stems from... I'm pretty open to most things... just torn made so many plans.. had some great times.. just don't want them to become distant memorys..

there father was domineering towards her so perhaps that's where it stems from

they are allowed their own feelings and responses to any situation, don't make the mistake of downgrading their feelings due to your own thoughts and feelings.