5 weeks in and struggling

[Ladybirdlottie]

Hi everyone. I have a 5 week old DD and 2 older DCs (8 and 5) This baby was sort of planned, we were thinking about having another but not completely sure but long story short I fell pregnant and decision was made. After the initial shock and tears as to whether we were doing the right thing, I managed to embrace it and hoped it would all be ok once baby was here. Fast forward to now and I am struggling. I’d forgotten just how intense and tough this stage is, this baby seems to be harder in some ways (very hard to settle) and all the demons that haunted me when I first discovered I was pregnant keep coming back and make me regret things big time. Life had got easier etc.I do love her and it upsets me to keep thinking this way but I can’t help it. I miss my other 2 dcs and feel constantly guilty that I am always doing things for the baby. I know it will get easier as I have done this twice before but seems such a long slog. I felt like this with my 2nd dc and it got better after 6 months. I’m disappointed as I hoped to enjoy the new baby more

Be kind to yourself. It's a time of massive upheaval, whether you've done it before or not. You have the same age gaps as me and my siblings and we are all best friends. Everything will be okay. Congratulations on your new baby girl!

Sending cuddles and congratulations! 🎉 I’m sure it will get easier x do you get the younger ones to help you like make a game of fetching nappies, clothes? Hopefully if they feel more involved and praised you guys can feel like your spending more family time together. Maybe do a foot print picture with all of the families prints x

There's no doubt that the early days are bloody hard work.

Can you find anything nice that you can all do together so that you feel a bit more like the older ones are included?

It's such a short period in the grand scheme of things though - I'm sure they're old enough to realise that you have to focus on the baby a lot.

How are you feeling today?

Thanks for your replies. I’m not to bad today but the past few days have been tough. Some days I’ve either been crying or on the edge of it all day. Just trying to take it one day at a time. The children do help out and I think they are fine really just me that’s not! The baby is so difficult to settle and consequently spends the day grumpy and over tired. Not good at sleeping on the go pram/car seat so getting out can be tricky plus the heat doesn’t help at the moment

Just to add we all got out for a walk in the woods this afternoon so it was cool. DH carried LO in a sling so she slept and I felt like I could be more involved with the older two which was lovely. Haven’t felt so overwhelmed and anxious today so hopefully this continues. It’s awful feeling like that.

One of my friends said that when you're feeling overwhelmed and anxious, you just need to aim for "everyone's fed and nobody's dead"...!

Don't try to be perfect, don't worry if / when you're not.... just getting through those early months, keeping everyone alive is an achievement!

u can put the same amount off time in to it other kids as u do baby as the baby will sleep most of the time n u can buy these swings for a new born it rocks them n plays soving music that way u can do what u want to with ur other kids. I do know how ur feeling I have 4 and another on the way hope u find this helpfull get a swing for ur wee girl there for babies x