Motivation needed to cope

[Happygoluckyto2]

Hi all, just joined and looking for any advice to cope with current situation. Recently had my baby, 5 weeks! And have a 3yr old also. The birth was the worst imaginable experience I have ever been through, to cut it short, I had a internal bleeding that was only picked up a week after the birth which meant additional surgery to fix. I am still in discomfort, can't seat, or walk too far, issues with bowel movements mean I haven't been able to leave the house from giving birth..it's such been a nightmare! Baby is good all in all but I'm finding it hard to bond with him.in comparison to my first, which I know is different. I have my 3 yr old in nursery 3 days a week and dread the 2 days I have them both at home! I haven't had to have them both alone yet,but as from week coming, we have no support so I'll have to... Please anyone with any advice on how to cope with newborn and toddler ish age???.....my other half is back at work and only help in the evenings so just me myself and I for those 2 days. I know there are people who have it even harder and I have so much respect for anyone doing this and much more...I just feel scared I'm not coping and afraid of being a bad mum to my kids..most of my friends and family live a fare distance from where we are so I haven't really got anyone I can be as honest and open with. Any advice would be appreciated..thank you in advance x

Please don't be scared. I realise that when the crutch of support goes, you feel fragile and have no-one to say 'You're doing just fine'.
You WILL be fine but take small steps first. Try to be organised so you have time to play with your older child while baby sleeps. Put the washing on and tidy round then chop veggies for dinner with your older one who can shell podded peas or play with (ready made) left overs of dough if you're making a pie. Maybe fit in a walk after lunch and a wooden jigsaw can keep the older one amused while you feed baby before DH arrives home. I'm sure that you WILL bond with your newborn, it's just that feeling of not having much, if any, adult conversation during the day and husbands don't really want to come home to a tired lonely partner.
PM if you wish. I have 4 children but they're well out of nappies and school.
Take care of yourself, otherwise you can't possibly look after anyone else and enjoy motherhood. It's a priceless blessing.

This was me 8 years ago my oldest was 18 months and I had my second baby my partner went back to work we had moved away from his family reasons I won't go into I was on my own I used to lock myself in the kitchen for 5 mins to clear my thoughts it was really hard they both got up in the nyt I would beg my partner to call in work sick but he couldn't then we moved to 3 bedroom flat they had own room only up once a nyt I often felt like bad mum then 5 months after that we moved to a house with a garden it was alot more house work but the kids were sleeping through the nyt and somehow the months just passed by and my boys are so close I love it and they are the kindest sweetest kids anyone can ask for and I know I did alright I'll be scared but u will get there