Apologies for long post.
I am currently 23 weeks pregnant following 2 previous miscarriages in 2016 and 2017. The first was an incomplete miscarriage which ended up needing 6 weeks of scans 'just to check that the sac wasn't growing' before they confirmed miscarriage. I'd had severe cramping pain and bleeding but still needed medical management to pass the sac. The second was a missed miscarriage picked up on our 12 week scan, we'd gone with so much hope only to be told there was no heartbeat and to go through all options for management again. We were heartbroken and so so angry that it could happen again. To top it off i had medical management but didn't pass the products and ended up in hospital on iv antibiotics for sepsis due to retained products. It took me a couple of months to recover physically and mentally and I finally got back to work after 4 months of counselling and occupational support.
Just before i was due to go back, i found out i was pregnant again and told my workplace (who have been great upto now) that i really wanted to stick to 4 days rather than 5 as i was finding i was getting very anxious about the pregnancy, had terrible all day sickness, which i still get and very fatigued as i have had terrible insomnia. I've not missed any days of work though I've had to go a bit late some mornings due to being sick and unsure i would make it in.
My problem is that I'm getting more fed up of work and very irritable. I'm sure it's baby brain but it's taking me a lot longer to do things and i keep forgetting things i said i would do. I think part of it is also because my focus is on the baby and not on work per se. Today i feel particularly angry. Firstly i got an email about some annual leave I'd arranged to take in June saying they've now realised they're short and want me to come in for one of the days "if i don't mind"... But they've already added my name into the rota expecting me to just have no plans and agree. Then i got an email asking if I'd attended a course whilst on sick leave and i said i had, it was just in the last week before i was due back and i wanted to test the waters to see if i felt strong enough to return to work - but I almost feel they are calling me out for going when i was meant to be off. Finally i received a letter from HR saying i owe them £250 in overpayment as they weren't aware i had cut my days down from 2 months ago and now want to take it from my next pay. I'm feeling so angry and annoyed and undervalued. I have worked so hard at my workplace for years, always taking on extra and covering colleagues who have been away and just feeling miserable and like i can't be bothered any more! Just wondering if anyone else feels the same or can offer some advice! Not due on mat leave for another 13 weeks. Thanks for those who have read this far.