Marriage stress

[Tiggy321]

I have been married for nearly 17?years, have 3 children. We live in Belgium. I work full time, my husband has been out of work long term, is extremely depressed and has given up hope of ever finding anything. His unemployment means we have massive financial issues. I am incredibly stressed. Feel sick with worry, kids pick up on it all. I just don't know what to do. Living abroad makes life so much more complicated. I know I need to leave my husband- his behaviour is dragging us all down and I just can't keep going anymore. My children are teenagers and I can't take them out for their schools. I know I should move back to the UK where I have some family support but I can't bring myself to do that. I have no idea what to do. I am so depressed and can't see any future in our relationship. He won't go to counselling or see a dr. We are finished. I would love to have some impartial advise. We will probably have to sell or house to pay off some debts. I know I need to make some big decisions but I am paralysed with fear. Any advise welcome.

Hello Tiggy, what a difficult situation to be in. Have you actually sat down with your husband and explained how close you are to walking away? Problem is this is affecting your health and the last thing you need is to have a breakdown. You've got children who depend on you. Could your H come back to England and look for work here? (Or is he Belgian?) Have you got parents who could help (not financially, but practical help)?

Personally, in your situation, if H can't or won't help, I would make the decision for him. Maybe make arrangements to find work here in UK, and to rent a house here (renting temporarily, until the financial position becomes clearer). Obviously the children will have to be found school places. There's a lot to think about but you need a plan for the future, otherwise things will continue to drift and you'll get more and more depressed about it all.