Am I being unreasonable over birthday card?

[ruthieb77]

It was my birthday yesterday and although I had a nice card and gift from my husband, he didn't organise a card from our 4 and 5 year old daughters because 'he hasn't had time'! I'm a full-time mum to the girls so they are my life. I am therefore really hurt and upset that he didn't either buy or make a card with them. I've just told him that I was upset and he's thrown it back at me as though I'm being unreasonable. He has been been genuinely busy at work but I'm talking about a card! Am I being unreasonable or is it normal to be hurt and upset?

I think you are being unreasonable, to be "really hurt and upset" tbh.
You've said that he's been genuinely busy at work. 'A bit disappointed' is one thing, but your reaction is OTT.
We've always put "from Back and the little Goods" before they were old enough to create cards themselves.

By 5, I'd have thought they might have been able to make something themselves from their box of crayons, paper, sticking, etc., but if they aren't yet, then another person buying a card on their behalfdoesn't really mean anything, IMO.

I think youre right to be upset, it doesnt take long to take a child out to choose a card and small present from them to you. My husband didnt do this with my now adult children who have grown up thinking its fine not to bother much, it still hurts even at my age. Children follow by example so speak to him at an appropriate time about what you expect next year!

I think this is one of those things that you make time for. He didn't prioritise it as he didn't think it was that important.
I would have been upset too.

Our eldest is 9.5. DH has never organised a card/present/anything from them to me for any occasion. I’ve stopping doing it the other way round.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. Showing some appreciation for you and teaching the kids the same go a long way.... I’d be upset too. But forgive him if he genuinely is under pressure at work. Just make clear you’re expectations for next time