Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Newbies' corner

General Whinge

2 replies

PineapplePrincess · 29/01/2018 10:11

Feeling sorry for myself. Down with the flu and have been in bed for now three days, with no sign of let up. Headache, sore throat, nausea, chills/sweats and aching bones. Can’t seem to move without being in some form of pain.

DH has had to look after DS, over the weekend, which I do really appreciate. However DH has an awful bedside manner. He doesn’t ask how I’m feeling, spend any time with me (just leaves me permanently alone), doesn’t offer to bring drinks or food - and when I do ask for something, he gets annoyed at me as if I’m being really unreasonable.

If DS is sick, he’s really attentive - nothing is too much trouble.

Today DS is at nursery. DH off work, and he hasn’t checked in on me all morning. If I had the energy I would go downstairs and get a drink, but I literally can’t move and I’m so thirsty.

This is not the first time he’s been like this. Last year I suffered a miscarriage and again was pretty bedridden. Asked DH to pick up painkillers repeatedly, but he always found an excuse not to. Ended up in hospital for a week on liquid morphine as the pain got so out of control. That week (as traumatic as it was) was such a relief. They managed my meds, were supportive and sympathetic, brought food and drinks. It was such a welcome change.

I know I’m having a moan. Just wondering if everyone else’s other halves are as useless as mine?

Is it too much to ask of a hug when you feel like sh!t...?

OP posts:
scaussie75 · 04/02/2018 00:27

Awww, entitled to moan and hope you have a quick recovery.

Just me and my dd here and I have cold/flu today as well. My day whether I can walk or not means getting up and tending to her needs, no hugs, get water and meds myself, no food in house so deliriously managed a half week shop waiting for a taxi in the cold for 50min early this morning and collapsed in bed when I got home. But.... That's my situation, sounds grim but no way would I do it if it wasn't a needs must situation. I would feel so sorry for myself and resentful if there was another adult in the house lol
I know from experience, we all have different expectations when I'll, ex used to like to be left completely alone and would do the same to me which made me feel unloved and neglected. I would want medium attention like meals, water and meds bought to me with a 5-10m chat each time, this would irritate him as he would want to be left completely alone. My deceased dh would want the full attentive nurse maid routine and constant attention or he would feel neglected. He would try do the same to me and I would feel irritated, then guilt when I snapped.
Please don't compare yourself with ds, taking care of a sick kids needs are different to taking care of an adult.
Speak to dh and ask if he could bring water and meds, outline your expectations and then lower them a little.

In the meantime, big germ hugs from one sick person to another and get well soon xxx

Catkins0877 · 04/02/2018 00:32

My DH is the best in the whole world...but...this is exactly same way he responds when I'm sick:(:( Sometimes I dnt think they just get it.I used to be torn between being sick....angry ...and cheesed off at Dh sane as you.sending u hugs.xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page