I must say I have been happy with my daughters care from Camhs. What is the problem?

My friend was unhappy with the service she received and complained in writing to head of service. I suggest you do the same but copy in your MP

My daughter was referred for anxiety attacks. She thought they were to do with school and felt that cahms were trying to uncover some deep dirty secret in our family. I went with her once and was basically told we must be to blame.
A work friend had warned me not to go as she had been blamed for her daughter’s problems by cahms. So it seems to be common.

So you find them robotic and uncaring? Is that the basis of your complaint? Have you taken a long hard look at why they are involving social care?

felt that cahms were trying to uncover some deep dirty secret in our family
I felt they did this too. We only went for one session 5 years ago when my dd developed a phobia that was starting to escalate. We were able to carry out their recommendatiins at home for dealing with the phobia and it is now not a problem. I feel i have a good relationship with dd and am a supportive mother and we are a happy family. I totally get that they have to dig deep to get a full picture and try and find out if there are family issues causing problems, but i felt there was the automatic assumption that we must definitely have caused the problem whereas i think sometimes something can trigger a phobia in a child who has a supportive home life.

Are you as rude and combattive to the people who are trying to treat your daughter? I barely said anything and, since it's an area I do know something about, I asked you a couple of questions.

Bastardkitty your pp was very confrontational. It is phrased in a way which implies that the op is hiding some bad parenting and trying to blame CAMHS when CAMHS is not at fault. Her thread is about how CAMHS has failed her family in the most difficult time they have faced, so of course she is going to be defensive when you attack her. If you were supportive, you could have phrased your pp very differently and still asked those questions but in a friendly and sympathetic way.

After being in a similar situation to yourself for two and a half years now I've come to the conclusion that it isn't that Camhs are uncaring. I truly believe the job they do (with children with eating disorders) is utterly soul destroying. How many children do they see die from it, or relapse, or live with it for years and years? When my daughter was first diagnosed I thought that maybe when she was better I would train to work in that field, now further down the line I cannot think of anything worse. They do their job, they can't care too much.

From other mums I have spoken to there is often some kind of family issue mixed in with this, I felt "to blame" for some time until I realised that they were looking for something, anything, that might be the key to actually sorting it.

We have seen a fair few people in camhs, some have been awful at their job, some we just haven't clicked with. We also use a private therapist who focuses more on the problems around the eating disorder. Sadly camhs don't do this. There is so much at fault with the way they treat it but they have little resources anymore. It's a disgrace how little funding there is for something that is so prevalent.

Sympathies to you op, it's a shit road to travel. And a long one too. Hope your DD gets well soon, feel free to PM me if you want.

CAMHS/CYPS were s**t! The worst service! Had they treated my DC properly and used the NICE guidelines, my DC wouldn't be now housebound! I complained as well though PALS and a lot of my complaints were upheld and we still didn't get the help or referral desperately needed. Once their 18 and transition to AMH, good luck! Even worse because you then get all this bullshit about 'sharing' information even though your teen gives permission to share! I am my DC carer and I referred them to the Triangle of Care where they're supposed to include the carer and guess what, they didn't include me!

What I learned from it all was that if you take an interest in your child's care, you're considered a bit weird, like part of the problem, over invested. If you take a back seat, it means you don't care. So I am not bothering at all now and have a housebound child. Good work CAMHS 👍

*they're

@Roonie123

OP, can you get her care transferred to the Maudesley? I went there once to an open day for Carers of OCD/Anxiety. They are a specialist hospital and mentioned eating disorders closely linked to OCD. They are NHS so accept NHS referrals.

www.slam.nhs.uk/patients-and-carers/health-information/eating-disorders

If you haven't done so already, look at the NICE guidelines for her eating disorder, print them out and ask them to highlight where she is in her treatment plan so you KNOW what comes next and you aren't left floundering in the dark. This will give you an element of control because I know when your kid is this I'll you feel helpless. Oh yeah, if you haven't, get tough with these care providers like a lion and her lion cub! I'm not saying be rude, just be very assertive like you know best. With those guidelines you might feel more in control? Good luck

@Roonie123

Nice guidelines

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng69/resources/eating-disorders-recognition-and-treatment-pdf-1837582159813


Triangle of Care

https://carers.org/sites/files/carerstrust/triangleoffcare20166latestversionn_0.pdf

And if you don't know about it already, you should access to your child's Care Plan:

http://www.icptoolkit.org/childanddadolescentpathways/genericccarestandards/155mentalhealthhcare_plan.aspx

Can you explain a bit more about cahms being uncaring? With examples. Sometimes staffing levels are short and these poor nurses are run tagged looking after a number of I'll children at once. Just trying to work out what you mean by uncaring.

I have seen both sides of camhs.

I’d go to PALS. Also ask if she can be under a different consultant? How old is she and how much do they have to talk to you about her care?

I know they are having great difficulty recruiting psychiatrists at the moment and IMHO some of the ones they do have aren’t all they could be, and overworked to boot. I will never, ever forget being told by one that Iwas ‘percieving’ bad behaviour and meltdowns every morning and night because I was an only child and ‘not used to boys’. She also had no idea how the meds she herself prescribed worked - or how to pronounce the name of the drug.

I hope more informed people come to help you but do post on the special needs boards here because there are very wise people on there and some of them only post on those boards. You won’t get flamed over there, and you will get well informed experienced opinions

Oh that sounds awful. I hope you get things sorted.

@Roonie123

PLEASE ask them about your needs referred to in their NICE guidelines!

@Roonie123

1.3.11 NICE Guidelines say:

'Do not blame the person or their family members or Carers'

@Roonie123

Please take a copy of the Nice guidelines so you can ask them where she is on the guidelines treatment plan. Once you'd identified where she is, you can see what they've done/haven't done and hold them accountable and what should happen next.

Hi, i'm a newbie too. So sorry to hear about your daughter. They just love blaming the parents don't they, even when they're from loving, supporting, caring families. We went through all that (different disorder) and they seem to be too thick to realise that they're just making things worse. Haven't any advice about dd's actual disorder or cahms etc, but just wanted to say make sure you have your say at the protection meeting. Don't let them rush even if they say it's running over time. Be firm and say you need more time to explain your full case and you're entitled to do that. Good luck and hope it goes ok.

Cahms are an absolute disgrace. Got involved with my 10 year old daughter promising they would help - they’ve lied and now got social services and child protection involved. All of this is because I requested a second medical opinion.