Exes Mum is driving us both mad

[LilaBelleHarry123]

I'm a Mum of twins (Three years old, boy and girl) and my exes Mum is getting on my last nerve

She keeps saying how I should let my ex see the twins more often. I let him see them every Weekend due to the fact he has work (He comes over Saturday, babysits them while I work. Then he gets them at his flat Saturday Night and Sunday)

His Mother though, she thinks it's not enough and he should have shared custody. Even though me and my ex have both told her that our arrangement works out fine, she's not convinced

For anyone who's wondering - There was no nasty break-up, no cheating, and no hatred. We just sat down one day and had a very honest heart-to-heart and discussed a plan as to what could happen with the twins. We broke up and he sees the twins every weekend without fail.

Me and my ex are both at our wits end. We don't want to disturb the routine we've carefully planned out, and we definitely don't want to upset his Mum

So how do we handle this without coming across as the "Bad Guys"

Thanks in advance
Caryn

I bet she is terrified that he will start seeing them less and she will lose her relationship with them. Or that either of you will meet someone else and the contact will fade and her relationship will fade with it.

I think the two of you together need to sit her down and say "look, we are all happy with our arrangements. There isn't any "letting" about seeing the twins. We are co-parenting happily. Please don't comment anymore. Instead just concentrate on being a wonderful granny".

After that, it is kind of his problem.

It's great that you are both together on this, and that's surely half the battle won.

I'd just tell her that this is working for now and it might not be the best arrangement in the future as things change.
Maybe she is worried that her ds will lose some parental control if he doesn't see the kids more often.

I don't think she's ever really liked me to be honest. She threw a fit when we chose Lila and Harry as their names (After my Mum's Mum and Dad) But thank you both for your comments.

I will take into consideration everything you've said. Thank you for your help, ladies

Anecdoche. We can't really do as she tells us, because my ex works nights and he doesn't have a new girlfriend. So letting him see them more often is really out of the question. If he had a new girlfriend then I'd be all for it, I'm not a jealous Woman so I'd happily hand them over to another woman to look after

We've suggested she takes them a few times a week but she doesn't want little ones running around her house.

I think we're just going to brainstorm ideas then let her know what's going on

She doesn't want them running around HER house? Obviously not the concerned loving grandma she is making herself out to be then is she! Tell her to butt out

Tell her to ask her son about it - you don't have to work at sparing her feelings - esp since she's not even interested in seeing them more herself.

Does she ring you and pester you about it or something?

Why do you give a shit what she thinks? Just tell her to bugger off and don't answer the phone if she calls you.

Gosh OP there seem a lot of real names in your posts.
You wouldn't be too hard to spot if somebody knew you.