Noisy neighbours with autistic son

[Kaykrizia]

Hi I really hope I could get some advice asap. My grandfather currently lives in a high rise tower on the second floor. Above him are a family of 6 (in a two bedroom flat). Since as far as I can remember, these neighbours have been nothing but hassle. Some years back, their children used to throw stuff out the windows which would land on my grandfathers windows, such as tomato sauce, eggs, left over food etc. But that isn't the problem now. Recently in the past year, the noise coming from their flat is horrendous. They hammer at 1am in the morning, drill the floors after 10pm and are constantly slamming doors and shouting. However that isn't the main main issue. Their son who has autism, runs up and down the hallway excessively everyday without fail. From the minute he's home from school on a weekday, from 4pm to 10pm he runs constantly back and forth from room to room. His foot steps are so heavy, it feels like the ceiling will fall through. I am a carer so I know some stuff on autism and relative behaviour and having routines. However, should a child be allowed to bang thud thump for 6 HOURS NONE STOP? I know it's not early hours (which it can be sometimes) but for 6 hours everyday and it's really bringing me down. I look after my grandad daily and study for my a levels whilst I'm here. But the noise is so LOUD, heavy and distracting I'm just not getting anything done. It's also affecting my grandad badly. On weekends is when we dread it. Not to mention the son who is contantly banging and clattering, they have another young daughter who also shouts and bangs, but on the weekend, it starts from 8am..all the way through to 11pm in the same day, it's beyond excessive and disruptive. I have spoken to the parents, they either deny it's them and say it's coming from above them! Which is RIDICULOUS as they are right above my grandad. They are also abruptive, I have recorded the banging on my phone (yes you can actually hear the bangs on my phone recorder) and asked them to listen, they out right refuse. I have knocked multiple times in one year and it's just not sinking in. Yesterday they slammed the door in my face and said "well he's autistic what do you expect us to do" well I would think you would know you have to have due care and respect for the people above you and below you when living in a tower block! It's really dragging me down to the point I hate coming to my grandads now. My grandad spends his weekend away from the flat now due to the dreaded noise all day. They are really neighbours from hell. Previously they have had multiple leaks in their flat, to the point where it was leaking into my grandads ceiling near electricals lighting!!! And then recently they had another FLOOD in their kitchen which they left for days, it's spread that far into the kitchen, the council had to knock the wall down due to water damage and start again. When I confronted them about that, they ALSO denied it was their flat!!! But the repairman confirmed they had fixed the leak in their flat the previous day! I do not want mediation or anything with them as they are completely unreasonable and liars. I maybe coming acros as selfish and heartless and I completely sympathise with their child, but what about us? Any advice would be grateful x

Hi I know this is an old post but I really need help with a very similar matter. Can anyone please share if they’ve found a solution?
i have neighbours with an autistic child around 10-11 years from age. He’s always running around the house loudly, early morning and late night. It’s disturbing us all and also waking us up when he does it. He’s not being told off by parents and has no bedtime routine! Weekends are even worse when he’s home all day! This is not the only problem we’re having but is the biggest one! Can someone please help. I’ve tried with the council and their landlord but getting nowhere! I’m desperate I don’t even want to stay home anymore. They’re very loud and awful neighbors

I'm a Mum of an autistic son. My son, now 18yrs old is A typical. Routine is key to these children. I only speak to my son in low tones so perhaps his parents are telling him off. Not much help to say it'll get better, chances are it wont. I'd approach the parents, point out how disruptive it is to your family. They should have mechanisms to distract him. Perhaps they don't realise how loud they are? I was mortified when my neighbour complained once about my son banging his head against her wall. I've 7 children & my house is/was quieter than hers. I did however get his room soundproofed. That helped through his early teen meltdowns. I feel your pain :(

I’ve tried everything i could. I’ve spoke to them which didn’t help at all, in fact made things worse and now he seems to think it’s funny as I’ve heard him laugh loudly while he does this. I understand about the telling off but if they’re not telling him from right to wrong how will he know not to do it? He surely doesn’t do this at school because he knows he’ll get told off? I’ve spoke to the council and their landlord who isn’t the slightest bit interested, no one wants to help. I just don’t think it’s fair me and my mum are having to put up with this every single day. They’re private rented and don’t think soundproofing would even be something they’d consider which I honestly think would definitely help. I’ve spoke to the council about soundproofing but they’ve said this is something they don’t do. I’m honestly fed up ;-(

A lot of autistics can mask at school & let go at home. I home schooled mine. He has a protected characteristic so sadly the councils hands are tied. I'd push the landlord about sound proofing. I do feel your pain & actually his parents are clearly ramping him up. Your right in saying its his parents job to teach him right from wrong. At 10-11yrs old he should be getting himself in check. I'm sorry I've no help to offer. My son had meltdowns until almost 17 but without medication he's a typical stroppy (quiet & sulky) teenager. Is it an option for you & your mum to soundproof, just for your own sanity?

i totally agree with you. I’m not sure this would be allowed for a council property? We’ve tried with the landlord but he’s so rude! He called us liars and even admitted he only cares about his rent that is getting paid. I wouldn’t even want to talk to him again after this as he’s cut us off twice before this when we tried speaking to him. The only thing he said was if you’re so fed up Ring the police. I feel like it’s definitely something he should do about the soundproof as the noise is coming from their property? We can also hear their washing machine, they bang their drawers and doors any time of the day, even as late as 3am which we can clearly hear , and every time they’re using their water (it’s really loud?) and they have to also bang their back door extremely hard for it to a shut (again very loud) I’m sorry if I sound like I’m just complaining but if we can be quite and careful to not disturb them or do things too loudly I’m sure they can too. Any help on the soundproofing I would really appreciate

I have a cousin who's a builder. We got 4 walls soundproofed my son uses our loft as his safe space so only area soundproofed. He used acoustic insulating boards. I paid a few hundred for the boards with free labour. If he has a noisy moment I can hear it if I'm just below him but my neighbours won't. Tbh your neighbours sound like a nightmare. I've brought up 7 kids in my house. My complaining neighbour was quite right to let me know but once I got consent from my housing association my soundproofing was done within 2 days. Mine was done years ago, I think the boards are easy to find nowadays & quite cheap.

They are a nightmare 😤 he started from 9am today(running around the whole house). I could hear it while I was sleeping and to make it worse they had their daughter and her boyfriend over later with her son so they were both at it together which is double the noise, I could actually feel it under my floor (no exaggeration) they were going on for hours. None of them said a word, could hear them laughing and acting like it’s normal to do this, I really don’t get how. I’m not sure if they’ve received a letter from the council, it could be why they’ve been doing this today but I can’t be sure as it’s always like this when they get together, it’s honestly double the noise which is horrendous

If its that bad, record the noise, keep a written note & bombard your council. Check housing laws that should have some way of protecting you. Is their neighbours at the other side of them? Are you sure the son is Autistic rather than just an out of control kid. If he's that bad at home I'd expect him to be at a special needs school. Nightmare for you. I'd say don't get frustrated, get your smarts on. If all else fails get a Dr to say its affecting your mental health (it clearly will) & see how your council react to that. Nightmare situation.

Sunn2022
A child running around at 9am is not something you can complain about. If the child has autism then there is every chance that this is part of the child's condition. In any case, at 9am this is not unsociable. You need to either live with it, sound proof your home or move somewhere detached. You will get absolutely nowhere with the council on this.

I beg to differ but I don't live in England. A 10yr old running about at 9pm creating noise enough to disturb neighbours I'd see as an issue. I am a Mother of an Autistic, mine was a shouter & his meltdowns off the scale. I understand every Autistic is unique. As parents we need to learn coping strategies to help our children grow up to be considerate adults regardless of disability.

We live in a flat on top of a women who lives with her 22 year old autistic daughter they stay in their flat 247 never go out stay up all night when I have to get up at 6am for work they bang and slam doors and drop things play music and loud TV round the clock literally they allso walk around stomping we contacted the council who installed noise recording equipment and when they heard the noise they allso got the police involved but as soon as the women mentioned about her adult daughters autism all action was stopped and noise recording equipment removed the police advised us to move out but I'm a single parent of 2 teens on the council list but getting no wheir I find it impossible to save anything from my full time job I often go nights on end without sleeping as now they know they can do what they want the problem has increased its effecting my work I'm on stage 3 disciplinary for having days off my daughter who's 13 is having problems at school due to not being able to sleep either but nobody is helping pr doing anything I thought the best way was to soldier through it and keep working but now my job is at risk and my mental health is failing don't know what to do or wheir to turn :(

Hey, experiencing a similar issue with this in my area and as someone who's on the autistic spectrum myself (severe ADHD, low-mid scoring ASD) definitely saying "suck it up" or move etc. if the parents are letting the child get away with it is not right at all.

There's a family across the road from me (in case anyone else is searching this, I live in clapham junction SW11) who quite literally allow their autistic son to lean out of the window and scream because he enjoys the echo, to the point where now hammers on the window between 4-5am for them to open it for him so he can scream. Him being noisy and not understanding normal behaviour is one thing, teaching him that its okay to scream out of the window in the early hours of the morning is another.

"Putting up" with an autistic son and caving to his demands no matter what it is does more harm then good.