Feeling like a crap mum
Laural3012 · 11/09/2017 21:17
So my boy is 5 my only one and at home he is wonderful very loving but since starting nursery right through till now he's had an aggressive streak. He hurts other children today according to the other children he strangled her with thread leaving a mark they call him naughty went we walk through town. I have tried reflection time, taking toys away, a stern talk a soft talk I make him appologise every time most of the time it's shoving he can get bossy and really gets in to games. I want people to know the boy is know he is a survivor of domestic abuse and from where we were he has done amazing but other mums don't see it and I've had meeting with schools and ss health visitor speech therapist. Today I took his brand new birthday present I feel awful he cried for an hr but I don't know what else to do. Feel it's my fault I stayed in a bad relationship to long, I gave in to fast when he was small but I can't seem to get him to stop it he's fine for a few weeks then we have an incident. Don't know what to try
pryceless · 25/09/2017 16:35
Hello, I'm a newbie here just join today and your post caught my eye first of all let me just say please don't call yourself a crap mom I don't know you but I can already tell that you are a good caring concern mom a crap mom wouldn't even waste time to seek help and advice...your son is normal kids do play up from time to time he is still learning and you are doing all the right things by teaching him what is acceptable and what is not acceptable while setting new boundaries. He had a troubled and maybe things that he has seen in nursery started to bring memories of the past back to him...trust me when I tell you that he's not the only naughty kid on class some kids knows how to be mean to other kiss and hide it well but at the end of the day they are all kids and we shouldn't love any of them any less or point fingers. We are the adults and our role is to guide and support reassure protect and love them the list is endless....ignore parents who make you feel bad just focus your energy on helping your child through this challenging time...just be patient with him he'll get there. I know you are already doing loads but Try and get him into a hobby (if you haven't already done so) to focus his energy on just try new things until you find the one....I hope this helps please message me anytime for a chat....I'm no parental guru but I have 2 girls and I know it's not easy. Chin up and continue to be a great mom your son will get through it.
Thinking of you x
MenagerieMum · 26/09/2017 18:24
Demand that your SW organises it ASAP. It's as it sounds. Therapy through play, your gorgeous little man won't even be aware it's happening, he'll just be playing and having fun. It's a great outlet for feelings and actions they have no words for or even know they have.
Without wanting or meaning to sound patronising, well done for being brave and seeking help for yourself and your son.
Good luck and keep us posted 😊
Rorymum81 · 26/09/2017 21:29
Hi, I just joined today. You're not a crap mum. My son is 4 and a half also an only child, he bashes toys and gets carried away with superhero games and can become boisterous and has hit other kids on a few occasions. I think this is due to being an only child. My son is more used to adults than other kids and struggles to play with them, he is also very bossy.
Try to take him to more social settings with other kids or hang out with another mum with kids so he can learn to play as part of a group and learn to cooperate with others. I've stopped letting my son win at games and I've refused to play with him when he is bossy or too rough, hoping this will help him play with other kids better.
You did the right thing taking his toy away. He needs to have a consequence for being naughty. Keep with it. It gets better when he realised how his behaviour affects him.
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