New mum needs advice

[Josiebear16]

Hi everyone

I have a 10 week old baby and he is my first baby. I feel like im losing control of myself. I LOVE him so very much, both my husband and i cared for our sick mum's who have now borh passed away so life for us both started late. I look at him everyday and cant believe im finally a mummy🙂! Its all i have ever dream of, i have worked in the childcare professional for 19years and feel everyone outside my home thinks oh its ok cause its what i for a living Can i say its totally different he is so precious. We have a very small family and have no outside help. At 8 weeks he started crying now stop we wre told it was a throat infection, 2 days later we had to take him iff the antibidic as it was wrecking his stomach. He then took what we were told was colic i couldnt get help anywhere as the doctor said there was nothing they could do. He would cry so much he would go purple and we would have to shook him to breath. We went for our immunisations and he was crying now stop for an hour tge doctor i seen this day said he had gastro reflux which was causing heartburn. We got medication and its starting to help although we are now getting teeth!! My son has started to not sleep great at night causing me to be up every hour. I just feel im losing control, i keep going through stages were I wont let my husband help cause i feel he is at work and needs his rest at night plus when he is crying now stop i feel i need to stop him from crying. He cries at times unconsolable and wint give him to sleep etc. Today ive cried non stop as he has cried all morning amd im so tired. I feel im doing something wrong! He cries everytime i put him down or wakens when i put him down. Sorry for the waffle i just dont know what to do!

I understand how you are feeling, I also used to work in childcare before having my babies, the eldest is almost 2 and our newest addition is 4 and half months. How you are feeling is completely normal, nothing can prepare you for the experiences of having your first child, I spent many days just crying for no reason! It does pass and it does get better and you should let your husband help now and again as it's a parntership in parenting, I find sometimes even just a 5 minute break can do the works of good when your having a stressful day! My baby also doesn't sleep very well and it seems to be a long process but she's slowly getting better, try white noise, gripe water, maybe a comforter. Also to help with colic if you place a blanket underneath the top end of the Moses basket or crib, so it's slightly raised this is meant to help when they are sleeping.

Hi Mummymack

Thanks so much for getting back. I will definitely try the blanket under his mattress. I have tried gripe water & infacol but neither of them worked on him. I think I have just went into over protective mode big style as we have wanted a child for so long but between caring for our mothers and stuff we put it off. I find it very difficult to sit back when he is crying non stop whether its with someone else or with my husband. I really do hope this emotional state passes soon as from I got up til I went to bed was non stop tears.

Oh poor you, I am the same if my child doesn't settle within a couple of minutes with someone else I want them back so I can do it myself! Are you breast or bottle feeding? Have you tried using a dummy? Also when my eldest was a baby we used to have to stand up pacing back and forth constantly as it was the only way she would settle, she would fall asleep and all I would do is sit down and she would be screaming again! No idea why but it's worth a try! Also a white noise machine could help, we have the dream sheep but you can just get a free app on your phone.

Do you have a sling? You could carry the baby around he house; being upright might help with the reflux; being close to you might calm him down and send him to sleep; you both my get some rest. Also this will pass. Colics usually stop at 4 months, at 6 months he will be a different baby; at 1 year he will be a completely different person. It will change and it will pass.

Your DH can help out and still get enough sleep to function at work. We had an arrangement where I was responsible for the DC from 12 - 6 at night so he got a block of 6 hours sleep. But then he had them either end so I could sleep 9/10-12 in the evening and then also 6-8 in the morning. That, with the few bits of sleep I got during the night was enough to keep me ticking over.