Young and confused first time mother

[SSpenn27]

I recently have settled with the news that I am 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My due date being early March next year and I have not a single clue how to be a first time mother. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go and I don't know how to cope. I recently split with my partner who is the father to this child due to him wanting the abortion. Now I refused the abortion and decided to go on with pregnancy but I'm stuck. See, I was studying full time but pulled from it because of false advertisement in the industry and now I have no income and no job. I need advise, I have no plan, no steps, no nothing. I fear for my child's future being ofnothing, no opportunities and no choice. I don't want that for my child especially since I know the pain and struggle. I didn't plan on getting pregnant but I feel as though it is a sign for me to keep fighting for a better future as I suffered from depression a few months back and became suicidal. Now that I am with child I feel as though I must fight for the child and myself. Need advise, where do I start?

Have you booked an appointment with your midwife yet? If not, that's your first step. Your local surgery should be able to point you in the direction of the midwives.

Do you have your own home or do you live with your parents? Are you old enough to claim job seekers allowance while you look for work?

Being a single mother is incredibly hard but it is doable, you pick it all up as you go along :) the pregnancy boards will be good for supporting you throughout your pregnancy and there are a few other boards here that will also provide great support. Good luck!

Wow, what a strong woman you must be, to forge your own way like that. Hats off to you, it takes great strength and courage to go it alone like that. I have nothing but admiration and respect for people like you.

I also want to say that life is such a long time, and although times are hard for you now, they won't always be. Life has a funny way of just working out different to how we expected; sometimes that's good and sometimes it's a challenge, but nearly always it is different to what we expected. Especially when our expectations are based on fear! I think it was Mark Twain who said: "only about 10% of what we worry about actually happens". Not worth going through the other 90% if it's not going to happen!

My parents were very hard up, but they gave me so much that money can't buy. Oddly enough, I'm not scared of going without money like I think I would have been, if I had not realised people really can get by with very little when they have to, and that these things often change over time. My Mum gave me direction and purpose, and I valued that she never tried to force me to get grades above my ability, but only ever asked me to do my best and accepted the rest. It made for much more relaxed exams and didn't stop me getting a degree.

Anyway, I'm waffling! You'll meet people with newborns just like you, and make sure you give yourself a lot of tlc especially in the early days when pnd is a danger. All the best with your new life!