Leaving family

[Annonym]

Hi,

I need some advice please. I am married with a 5 year old and 3 year old. Things are very difficult at home. We are on the brink of separation and I think that it should be me that leaves the children with their dad. I have anorexia and am in a really difficult place. My husband won't support me with the illness and also thinks I am a risk to the children because of my condition. I am seeking support and am making progress. My care team doesn't consider me a risk to them.
I care and love them more than anything but maybe the kindest thing I can do for them as a mother is walk away from them so I don't damage them. I want them to be happy, safe and loved and I've been told over and over that I can't give them that. I have never harmed them. Would i be a terrible person for leaving them? What would be the consequences of leaving? Are they better off with their dad?

hello, I have no good advice but wanted to say how sorry I am you are in this terrible place right now, and to give you

Hope someone comes along shortly with some words of comfort.

You are better posting in relationships if you haunt already x

Is Dad capable of caring for them? Do you have a safe place to go to be near enough for regular contact? Could you agree to review custody in 6 months to give you time to they and recover? Would the trauma of leaving them make your illness worth? All worth thinking about.

You are being very brave thinking of your children's needs first and shows you have great strength.
However is it you who is thinking this or has your husband made you doubt your capabilities as a mum.
Could joint custody be an option , would this give you time to be with them but time also to concentrate on getting better too.
There is nothing wrong with your husband being the main carer if that's what's best for everyone. So please don't feel bad for doing that if that's what's needed. No decision need be permanent at the moment.
Could you discuss this with your husband with professional support. Someone to guide the conversation so yours as well as his opinion is heard.