American mom moving to Derbyshire

[Scorpionflower1]

Hello All,

I'm an American Californian mom of 3 daughters ages 17, 15, and 8. We're planning a move to Derbyshire this summer and I'm looking to learn as much as I can. My DSO is from Derbyshire and is currently there there looking at places. I've only visited the area once before so feel I'm flying blind.

I'm hoping to connect with some mom's in the area who may be willing to provide some insights as to living there. What towns are most ideal for families? Which towns would be most embracing of my Californian daughters and myself? Which are the best schools? I'm a corporate accountant. What areas would have the best career opportunities for my profession?

Any feedback or insights would be greatly appreciated!

lljkk- LOL, I'm definitely not your typical accountant!!!

Extremely cold weather isn't really a problem in most of the U.K., although you are more likely to get snow in Derbyshire than in southern England. It's more general damp greyness with no guarantee of summer.

Gosh there are a lot of Derbyshire MNers. I did my family tree back as far as possible and until work branch left in the 80s, my entire family never moved from the S Derbys area. I was born there too and my family still populate the Church Gresley/Newhall/Swad/Midway/Burton area.

OP good luck. I can't recommend anything as we moved away.

Apart from Birds Bakeries and their gingerbread men...

*our branch

I can't spend too much time in direct sun due to medical condition

Well there is little direct sun here! So that will be a weight off your mind.

He must be really really worth it! I would just recommend not cutting all your ties in the USA just in case...I always gets bit worried about women having to move so far from their support network...Having done it myself it is hard enough without kids and moving to the UK as a child was for me a huge culture shock, still is sometimes - 43 years later.

Perhaps, in the ordinary course of things (although marriage is marriage and presumably you'd be able to show its genuine). It's just your situation is not the norm given your DD1 is so close to 18. You'll have to reapply on marriage and that will trigger your DD having to reapply. Just double check.

Birds Lemon curd tarts are the food of the Gods.

Why does your "adventure" and relationship with your bf, and his immigration issues, trump your DCs' education?

You don't need to be in the UK to investigate the education system, and it is likely to be very very difficult to find a good solution to that hurdle, especially with a 17yo with additional needs.

Could your DD get GED if not high school diploma before she immigrates?

It is difficult to understand OP why you'd pull your DDs out of school at these crucial ages. Your DD1 in particular could be left with no US qualification and no UK qualification either. And at the point at which she is no longer your qualifying dependant in the UK she will need to be earning a decent level of income in order to be able to stay in the UK. Otherwise its off back to the US where - oh hang on - she doesn't have a high school diploma...

I know you have come looking for support and advice re the practicalities of your move rather than people criticising your plans but in black and white I'm afraid it sounds rather selfish rather than an "adventure". I struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't put their children's education first, particularly since in a few years' time it would no longer be an issue and they'd have a secure US qualification behind them.

If it's love it will last.

I feel a bit mean for saying that. I don't want to burst your bubble OP since you're obviously excited about the move but the impact of a move to the UK at this stage could be enormous for your daughters and it could have long lasting implications for them.

Yeoldtrout- That's something that's possible as well. Once she finishes this year she only has a handful of credits left for HS diploma. She really wants to come to U.K. though!

Surreyblah- Point missed seems to be that getting their higher education in UK was already being discussed BEFORE the immigration issues came up. The possibility of them coming to U.K. was already being discussed. Now, I'm coming too. My 17yo is a funny one. She's acedemically capable and is in regular education classes, but has some modifications for allowance of extra testing time, etc. Shes capable, but has little motivation and can't make a decision. You'd have to know her to understand. Think along lines of aspergers but not sure how she'd function in real world without "parental" figure guidance for things that require planning or decisions. She gets help with keeping track of school assignments and prioritizing as she's not really capable of that organizational functioning...but if a plan is laid out for her she can get the work done. She doesn't understand socialization, yet is extremely sweet and polite. The concept of texting a friend during vacation is beyond her. She doesn't see the reason for it...not typical for a 17yo! So she's a funny one for us. I don't want to sound like a non-supportive parent but I have my doubts about her success in university...unless they have a planner for her lol! She'll be alright though. We know there's a good chance she'll be with us for the long haul. And she's connected to my visa until she's 21, that transitions from fiancé visa to spousal visa. At 21 she would have to apply separate from me.

How could they have come to the UK without you. They're not dependants your DP.

I'm confused but you obviously think you have it covered so good luck with it.

Oh, I don't take any of this as mean at all!! It's all very helpful! Keep it coming! I need to hear the perspectives of others. It's a vital part of this process in my opinion. I accept that there are people who won't agree with our choices, but that's life isn't it?

High school qualification would be easy to resolve. I'm reading up about the educational system there, have to wait until school there is back from break to speak to some people on the phone. I'm not waiting entirely until I'm there to research, but want to sit down with school officials and go over my understanding to ensure I comprehend things. I've reached out to some "Americans living in UK" resources for recommendations for education. The option is still possible that my oldest stays here for her final year then joins us after. My mother is attuned to my eldest daughter's needs. She's pretty hands off. I'm open to all options and possibilities at this time. If my 14yo does come it sounds like employing a tutor would be a very good idea to assist her with the transition...or possibly an American school. Lots to consider.

What does your 15 year old want to do regarding schooling? Is she aware of the requirements for GCSE's?

Derbyshire schools should be back already. Derbyshire and Notts had half term last week.

Newtssuitcase- If I wasn't there they could still go to university in UK as international students. This happens all the time. Speaking more of my 14yo. If the 17yo wanted to do uni in UK she would have to live with someone there who is attuned to her dificiencies, but again, we're not really sure acedemics will be the route for her. If she decides that route then we'll support her in the pursuit.

I assumed you meant as students but was then struggling to reconcile that with what you'd said about your DD1.

Lol thanks Newtsuitcase!! DSO's daughter is out this week so thought it was all schools.

Parker- 14yo knows she may have to do some catch-up work. She said "bring it on". She wants to pursue computer coding as a career. We're researching what that entails in UK. Her US computers teacher was checking on the career path for her over the holiday weekend.

Newssuitcase- I'm sure it's confusing from your end. DD1 is a quirky one lol. If you knew her it would all make more sense. She is a bit OCD and has her obsession, anime, much like an aspergers child. But she does make personal connections. She have a circle of friends and does look at you when she speaks...but she never reaches out to friends to hang out, chat, etc outside of school. In school she excels in tasks that have set instructions such as math and chemistry. Ask her to write an opinion paper and you'll get either a blank paper or an informational novel missing only opinion that was the point of the assignment. Lol

www.internationalstudent.com/study_uk/education_system/secondary_education/

This might help for your 14 year old

Your eldest sounds a lot like my DS. Except he is into coding rather than anime.

I would have a look at the far north of Derbyshire - from Buxton northwards. Any town with direct train to Manchester. So Buxton, Chapel-en-le-frith, Glossop,etc. Good for your work options and also leisure facilities in easy reach. Also there are then some excellent sixth form colleges in Manchester area with strong links to the universities there. Xaverian college, Loreto College, etc.

I would talk direct to a couple of schools and colleges about what the situation would be for your two elder children. It could well be that you may need to defer for a year or so to get the best for them but you won't know without specialist advice.

Good luck with whatever you decide (and make sure you pack raincoats!)

Look at ockbrook, borrowash

OP we were living overseas where my daughter was following the British education system and doing what is called IGCSE (international GCSE).
We returned to UK unexpectedly at the end of the year before the year she took her exams (secondary year 4) and the school here recommended she repeated that year. She's a very high achieving student and now has an MA from Oxford (not boasting just explaining the situation for someone who was already in the British system).
Really I think compared to the American system, what little I know of it, pupils here specialise more early and thus study subjects in more depth.
Even moving between different areas in U.K. is problematic during exam courses as different areas have different exam boards and don't study identical subjects. For example in English they may study different books.
Good luck to you in making the right decision for your daughters.

Does anyone know much about the "Access to HE" diploma? I was just told to look into that.

Yes it is for adults who don't have the qualifications to go to uni. It is generally linked to a [articular career such as 'access to nursing'.

The age has recently reduced to 19, it is not for an academically able teenager. I have taught it (for nursing) and students are a mix of overseas students with ILR, mothers who had children when their peers were taking GCSEs and those who messed about in school but are now putting their lives back on track.

It is a difficult course and everyone on it is dedicated to getting on the nursing or midwifery course of their choice.

It will get you to an 'ex poly' not a good uni.

If dd is so close to graduation her best option is to finish her HS diploma. A US HS diploma is usually taken as equivalent to 5 GCSEs.

You said that uni in the UK was being discussed before this move, but obviously not in depth, a US HS diploma will not usually get you in to a UK uni, you weed 3 - 5 AP classes to be considered.

As you can't work initially would you consider home schooling? Perhaps working with her current HS to complete those credits?

Parker- 14yo knows she may have to do some catch-up work. She said "bring it on"

Does she know it is 2 years she has to catch up? And that it is terminal exams only no course work?

Have a look at some exam papers, just google an exam board and GCSE and then the subject.

Exam boards are:

AQA
WJEC
OCR
Edexel - link for maths, look at the fhigher tier not foundation
qualifications.pearson.com/en/qualifications/edexcel-gcses/mathematics-2015.news.html?article=%2Fcontent%2Fdemo%2Fen%2Fnews-policy%2Fqualifications%2Fedexcel-gcses%2Fmathematics%2Fedexcel-gcse-maths-9-1-specimen-paper-trial-results-and-support

I'm sure there are others, you need to look at the 9-1 not A*-C

She will be doing at least 8 subjects. For most schools it is English lit and language, maths, a humanity a modern foreign language (being in CA I assume she knows some Spanish, but if her school only offers French or German then she has to take that) two / three sciences and a subject of choice from the school's available subjects.

I haven't missed the point about the DDs wishing to attend university in the UK (was that really their plan or an agenda you've encouraged because of your relationship?) But they need good high school qualifications first, and given their ages and that you don't have funds for private education in an international school the UK options for the education will disadvantage them massively.

DD1 won't be able to get the outstanding US high school credits from a UK state school, nor complete UK qualifications (A levels) without extending her time in secondary (high school) education, probably attending a "further education" college where a high level of independence is expected.

Depending on when her birthday is, DD2 could be arriving in GCSE year. GCSEs are a two year course. It would involve far far more than "catch up work" to sit them in the same year as moving education systems. And that's without the emotional upheaval of an international move and new step parent.