Living with a hoarder
drowninginstuff · 21/11/2016 12:15
My dh likes his stuff to put it mildly. His main hobby and recreational activity at weekends is surfing from one charity shop to another buying stuff and then selling it on ebay. This may sound harmless enough but its really really starting to get to me. I have tried to contain him to one room but he has spread all through the house, with collections of books, CDs, board games, lps. I feel that the walls are coming in on and me and feel so overwhelmed by the amount of clutter and useless stuff around me that I don't feel comfortable in my own home. Its a relatively small house and I feel there is no where to escape. Even our bedroom has piles of books and if I open his wardrobe it is full to the brim with stuff he's hidden away. Our kids have started complaining that the only decent sized room in our house where they can have friends over is now half full of boxes and more stuff.
Its not just the stuff but also the amount of time he spends doing this, every evening and weekends. Inevitably every time we try and sit down to discuss it ends in a row. I feel like either trashing the whole lot or syphoning back out to the charity shop when he's not looking. It is really getting me down .
WeirdQueen · 23/11/2016 22:37
Get him a big shed... out the back!
I've a hoarder of sorts. Anything to do with cars engines tools etc... NOTHING gets thrown out or sold just in case it will be needed in 52 years , if he can then remember where he put it 😂
We started with one big shed and have a second one now. Anything I don't want in the house lands in front of his shed door 😑
Time wise though you might need to have certain hours. Like come in by 8pm.
RaingodsWithZippos · 23/11/2016 22:42
Does he have anxiety, or is he a perfectionist in any way? Hoarding is a type of OCD and sometimes getting rid of things can cause physical pain to a hoarder. I also am a hoarder and it is embarrassing because I can't tell anyone about it and so I can't seek help. My husband, son and step son complain about the mess and offer to just get a skip and tidy it themselves but the thought of that brings me out in a cold sweat. If I lose something in my house, which happens frequently, I can't bear anyone else looking for it as them touching and moving my things gives me panic attacks.
I wish I could get better but I just don't see a way out (ironically can't get out much either because of the stuff...)
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