Partner being unsupportive in pregnancy

[88danielle]

Hi all,

I am 16 weeks pregnant. I have 3 other children from a previous relationship and I am now pregnant with me and my fiancés first child together. He also one from a previous relationship. He used to be amazing and we were a proper family. When he asked me to marry him, I was over the moon and I thought I'd finally met the man who was the person I'd been waiting for my whole life (I had a pretty bad childhood) for the last few months and just before I got pregnant he started changing l, he talked down to me, but everything else in his life before me and things went downhill. Now I'm pregnant. He goes to the pub as he's been at work all day and needs a break. I work all day too then I come home, look after my kids on my own and that's it. I don't get a break. Now I fear I will be the only parent to this baby he is too busy putting his own needs before any of us. He tells me he's worried il be fat after the baby's born and already telling me I need to be excersizing after birth and that he doesn't like pregnant women. We have slept under the same roof once in nearly 3 months so at night I'm alone with no emotional support. I am strong enough to leave him if things don't change, but I don't want to feel I didn't give things a fair chance. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do.

Danielle

[Flisspaps]

Hi Danielle

I've asked MNHQ to move your post to the relationships board as you'll probably get more responses there

[expatinscotland]

Sadly, men often show their true colours when their partner becomes pregnant. It looks like you're flogging a dead horse here.

[Missgraeme]

Ask him where he sees things in a years time. He may be worried your relationship is domed to fail like his last one - and that he won't be able to be a full time dad to the new baby either. (Even tho it's him that's putting everything at risk right now) tell him u intend to be a good partner to him for a long time to come but he needs to be one to u also. I hope he pulls his weight with your kids also - u are all a unit now regardless of parentage.

[88danielle]

Hi thanks for the reply.

I've tried to have this conversation with him but he tells me he wants us to be together and be a family. His actions do not reflect this. I thought he would be amazing but he isn't, it's like I don't even know him.

[88danielle]

Hi thanks for the reply.

I've tried to have this conversation with him but he tells me he wants us to be together and be a family. His actions do not reflect this. I thought he would be amazing but he isn't, it's like I don't even know him.

[Lovelydiscusfish]

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and sorry you are going through this hard time with your partner. Where has he been sleeping this last 3 months? That sounds worrying, and must be tough for you.

[88danielle]

Thankyou very much, despite everything I know that I will get a beautiful baby from this so all is not lost. He still has his own house so is sleeping there. It's like any time I try to tell him how I feel, he almost punishes me by ignoring his phone and ive no idea where he is. His comments regarding this are 'il do what I want'. I do wish his behaviour had been shown before I was pregnant, we've been together 3 years but only just seen this side.