Hi everyone, so new to this actually my first ever post on mums net but here goes
Walked to my local aa meeting today after telling other half I needed a walk for some fresh air it's summer hols & I have 3 beautiful kids daughter age9, sons age 5 & 1 I am stressed exhausted & fed up slightly lonely & 2 days of not drinking alcohol which usually is a bottle of wine a day could drink more at times 🤐 But feeling so shit & guilty about this miserable horrible shouty mother I'm becoming I love my children their my world & really hate myself at the mo! The person I've become hence the not drinking so far for 2 days & the unsuccessful trip to aa as I couldn't go inside really wanted to but just couldn't fear of the Unknown I guess also the shame.
Drinking for me has just become a habit boredom loneliness do have a partner but he's at work all the time then gym etc... Me me me so much that I've started to resent him really & can't even enjoy his company without a drink but I want to stop!! I guess I'm a secret drinker too my very few friends I don't see much so when I do it's normal for us to polish down a bottle of wine anyway would love to hear anyone with advice & support with similar issues being a mum is so hard shoot me for saying this & trust me I feel guilty for my feelings everyday as I adore my beauties, but tedious boring amounts of cleaning cooking washing (especially summer hols) kids moaning all day fighting with each other even when I've spent a fortune on s fun day out (for them of course) would takes its toll on any living being & out comes the wine for that lonely exhausted night.
Anyway here goes day 3 tomorrow👍 I've read over & over again that 1 day at a time is key.
xx