Anyone else struggling with reactions while pursuing an autism assessment?

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I'm getting a bit down about some peoples reactions to the fact that I am likely to be diagnosed with autism. I have had comments like "well you don't look autistic and you don't sound autistic" Told I'm obsessed with the condition. Told that too many people are going in for assessments and clogging the system and that I certainly don't have it. I may not. I might have strong traits but it is affecting me.

I have cptsd likely as a result of my parents having neuro diversity and the fact that they were highly dysregulated and a whole myriad of issues which affected their parenting.

Only one person has told me it's a good thing to pursue diagnosis. I am menopausal, facing some kind of burnout. I don't have much support in real life. The mental health system seems very broken and disjointed. I am seeing a phycologist privately but she doesn't seem to be clued up about neurodivergence (I am consulting her about the trauma aspect but still disappointed she is unable to give me more insight). I could literally spend many thousands on assessments/treatment and still get no further forward the whole thing is disheartening.
Any Advice?

I'm sorry I don't have advice but empathise with your post. I want to go for assessment for 'official' confirmation and for my own peace of mind, but don't feel like I can talk to my family about any of this because I'm afraid I would also get those kinds of comments and quite probably eye rolls.

Although you're having therapy already with a focus on CPTSD, could it be worth having some sessions with a therapist who is neurodivergent/specializes in treating neurodivergent people? Or even switching to such a therapist? If you haven't read The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy by Steph Jones, I would highly recommend getting a copy.

Thanks Inertbird. I have copy of the book you mention, I will re-read. I'm committed to seeing this therapy through as there should only be a few more sessions. I didn't realise that I was likely ND when I began the therapy and I can see I would benefit from speaking to a therapist who is ND. I think it is a case of ploughing on in spite of the comments.

I was given a very late life diagnosis that I am autistic by the Clinical Psychologist I was seeing last year. I had suspected I was autistic for a very ong time.

I have discussed the diagnosis with my adult son. He finds it really interesting and I think it's helped him to understand some of my behaviours which he has always found difficult. I have also disclosed the fact I'm autistic where it has been relevant when dealing with official organisations or people
.But I haven't told anybody else on a personal level.

I think I'm a bit surprised you are discussing your autism diagnosis with multiple people. Are these people close to you? I only discussed it with my son because I KNEW he would be supportive of me. I would never mention it to others, it even, or especially to my sister, because I do think people's knowledge and understanding of autism is pretty ill informed . Hence the reactions you are unfortunately getting OP.

A friend of mine went around telling everyone when she found out about her autism diagnosis. I haven't quite told everyone but most of my friends are ND. The people who have responded negatively have been older (70's/80's). I haven't told random people in the street but I think I need to be more selective who I tell. I guess verbalising it is an attempt to make sense of it. It is all very new.

Yes I wouldn’t tell so many people, just the ones closest to you. I was diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD and no one apart from DH knew I was having the assessment and now diagnosed only a small number know.