I'm in my 30s and recently had a private ADHD screening, where I was told ADHD is quite likely.
Since then I've started wondering whether autism could also explain some lifelong things that I've always put down to introversion or maybe something like social anxiety.
What makes me question it isn't so much socialising itself, but unfamiliar situations. For example, I often avoid new community centres, independent cafés, libraries or self-service coffee machines because I genuinely can't work out how the system works. Once I know the system, I'm usually absolutely fine. It's the uncertainty about what I'm supposed to do that I find really stressful.
If I know I'm going somewhere unfamiliar, I spend a lot of time researching beforehand (photos, layout, where to order, parking, toilets, etc.). I usually manage the event in the end, but afterwards I feel mentally exhausted. I often feel as though I need a couple of weeks before I have the energy to socialise again.
I also tend to become intensely interested in topics. For example, when I wanted to put up a bee hotel in the garden, I didn't just buy one—I ended up researching solitary bee species, hole diameters, orientation, suitable materials, etc. I often find myself wanting to understand how something works rather than just accepting that it does. My husband laughs because I can't seem to do anything "by halves"!
Socially I'm a bit odd too. One-to-one I can be quite chatty (possibly the ADHD), but in groups of 3 or more I often don't know when to speak and end up mostly smiling and listening.
Since having my daughter a few years ago, this has become more of an issue, because I need to take her to new places and activities, and sometimes I avoid them because the uncertainty feels overwhelming.
I've done several screening questionnaires:
AQ-50: 32
RAADS-R: 83
CAT-Q: 116
GQ-ASC: 58
They all suggest elevated autistic traits, although my AQ score is around the usual threshold rather than extremely high. Interestingly, my AQ-10 score was only 5, just below the usual cut-off, which has made me even more unsure what to think.
I'm not asking anyone to diagnose me! I'd just really like to hear from women who were diagnosed as adults. If you were diagnosed later in life, did your experience sound anything like this, or was your presentation very different?