RSD

[StarsHollow2125]

I am massively struggling with RSD at the moment and I feel like it is ruining my life. I’m mid 40s, perimenopausal and neurodivergent, possibly autistic, definitely ADHD. I am not formally disgnosed but have two autistic children (both diagnosed) and one of them has has OCD so I’ve done my fair share of assessments and spoken to clinical pyschcologists, one of which agreed with me that I was likely autistic at a consult for one of my children, and I’ve also done courses on autism and read and listen to everything possible so I’m pretty sure. It explains so much about my life and like many I know I have masked heavily through childhood and early adulthood to the point
I really don’t know who I am anymore.

Anyway, perimenopause has hit me hard and I am all over the place and just can’t seem to get it together at all. I
do two jobs and I’m managing the kids which is intense and a lot everyday with one who finds school really challenging and on part time timetable and even then it’s a struggle to attend and one whose OCD at home means I have to do a lot of support and extra ‘stuff’.

Every single time someone says anything to me in an even remotely negative way, it absolutely destroys me. Like full on uncontrollable crying, feel like the worst human alive, question everything about myself etc. I’ve read and listened to everything I can find on RSD and I recognise this is what it is but I can’t stop my response. I’ve had quite a few things happen at work that have floored me and I’m almost at the point of quitting just to stop the feeling.

At home, even the smallest negative reaction (even just in tone or body language) and I melt down. I just can’t handle it.

What can I do? Has anyone found a way? I’m starting to think i need professional help.

I could have written what you've written when I was in the midst of burnout, and eventually I did quit my job, but not before going to my GP and getting the official diagnosis investigations well underway and all of my struggles documented.

It could be RSD but I don't think it's helpful to name it as RSD at this point because you need help to look at the much bigger picture, where they will question different parts of your life, identify areas where your support and social scaffolding are both working and not working, and more tailored recommendations can be made to you.

The reason I am saying this is because RSD as a broad term can happen because of burnout, whether due to unmet needs due to neurodivergence, or stress, or depression or even cPTSD. Sometimes a medication trial can help, sometimes talking therapies can help especially in conjunction with medication, and sometimes none of that helps and you would benefit more from the medical feedback of a proper assessment.

That said, it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, and you need real, practical human support. Daily. We aren't born to be subservient to our workplaces and our families and then just die. We matter too. You can't pour from an empty cup. When you've been drained for so long it can feel like every request and every tone variation is a personal attack and wreck your self confidence.

I’m late diagnosed adhd going through titration and have had, objectively a really stressful year.
I also think I’m in perimenopause as I can’t explain why else I feel so awful at the moment very similar to you. One of my children is on the ND assessment pathway waiting lists and the more months and years go by I am wondering why I can’t get this anxiety and rsd under control. I just wanted to post in solidarity.
GP app request done to talk about it/possible HRT but no appointments available until further notice they said I will get a text at some point
I am very anxious about the medical profession (as a collective not any individuals) so I don’t know how to ask for what I need as I also don’t know
Are you considering HRT as an option? I have read it can help - and I’ve also read non stimulants can help with the fight or flight response we can get into alongside stimulants but not sure this is offered in the UK (I’m UK based).
Sorry getting ahead of myself but are you diagnosed ADHd already ? As I’m referring to the adhd medication- as I too am wondering about Autism, or childhood trauma, or just trauma from being ND my whole life and not knowing.
i have my supposed last titration app tomorrow but the medication still isn’t settled yet in fact my RSD or symptoms of are getting worse! overwhelm getting worse, task paralysis getting worse, brain fog worse, and feeling criticised and questioning myself at work!
Your situation resonates with me and I just wanted to offer support and tell you you’re not alone
I don’t know though how people in our situation get help from here - who can speak to us and tell us what exactly is going on
a ND informed therapist (which I have) is my next port of call after the GP to discuss my RSD and see if there are any remedies as such as whenever I google it I find no techniques to help