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Support while waiting for ADHD assessment for my nearly four year old

2 replies

HonestBlueRobin · 13/06/2026 06:45

My son is almost 4.. I have had ongoing concerns re adhd for a long time... from approx 18 months. Hes my 2nd son. Health visitor also said last year there was adhd traits but unfortunately nothing they could do at this stage. I have since been to GP and I have also asked health visitor to revisit.. his behaviour is escalating to the point of danger. He has no awareness of danger, he almost got hit by a car running off. Constantly runs away in public, climbed a wall at childcare onto busy road, he is constantly on the go, emotional dysregulated, massive meltdowns and its becoming a real struggle to manage. We have been referred to community paediatrician service however the wait is lengthy.. I have tried looking for other support and I am not getting anywhere. Could anyone recommend anything for the time in between for now and meeting the age for an adhd referral... its impacting family life, im exhausted and I just want to be able to help him more.
The GP seen him last week and he also said hes very hyper and short attention span - he was throwing his medical equipment about, flicking lights on and off, jumping off his examination bed, doing gymnastics on his floor, turning off and on his taps and not responding to me asking him to stop so im glad the GP got to witness this. Any support or help would be massively appreciated as I feel there is very little help for this in between stage and I cannot possibly wait another 2 years to be referred and 2/3 year waiting list for support/help.

Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
Jimmyneutronsforehead · 23/06/2026 01:35

Is there a reason you think this is adhd and not autism?

I understand you've documented a lot of hyperactivity and impulsivity but these can be present in autism, it's the mechanics around it that would infer one or the other or even both.

Autistic children can be very self-led, and unable to follow adult led instructions reliably. There's a whole therapy programme by Gina Davies called attention autism for this reason.

Flicking lights, taking medical equipment, being a whirling dervish can all be investigating cause and effect.

Being hyperactive like Taz the Tasmanian devil can be vestibular and proprioceptive sensory seeking behaviours.

Lack of danger awareness, eloping in public, can be attributed to the social and communication criteria for autism

The meltdowns, well it depends on triggers but can be dysregulation due to a change in (perceived) plans, schedules or routines even if those are self imposed by your child and not in line with how your day goes, sensory overstimulation, sensory understimulation, a lack of autonomy, and just developmentally being delayed in the emotional regulation department.

I would honestly consider the possibility of autism. I feel like there's probably more to it but from what you've said in your post, I feel he meets the triad/dyad of impairments.

On top of that he can be assessed for autism sooner, and it sounds like he will need an EHCP during his education to get him the best possible start, and you don't need a diagnosis for an EHCP but you do need a lot of paper evidence which comes from assessments.

I'm also wary of health visitors and unspecialised professionals saying ADHD at such a young age. Not because it might not be true but because some use it as autism-lite and it means you aren't getting the right support at the right time as you've been sent barking up a very tall, different kind of tree.

HonestBlueRobin · 23/06/2026 05:13

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 23/06/2026 01:35

Is there a reason you think this is adhd and not autism?

I understand you've documented a lot of hyperactivity and impulsivity but these can be present in autism, it's the mechanics around it that would infer one or the other or even both.

Autistic children can be very self-led, and unable to follow adult led instructions reliably. There's a whole therapy programme by Gina Davies called attention autism for this reason.

Flicking lights, taking medical equipment, being a whirling dervish can all be investigating cause and effect.

Being hyperactive like Taz the Tasmanian devil can be vestibular and proprioceptive sensory seeking behaviours.

Lack of danger awareness, eloping in public, can be attributed to the social and communication criteria for autism

The meltdowns, well it depends on triggers but can be dysregulation due to a change in (perceived) plans, schedules or routines even if those are self imposed by your child and not in line with how your day goes, sensory overstimulation, sensory understimulation, a lack of autonomy, and just developmentally being delayed in the emotional regulation department.

I would honestly consider the possibility of autism. I feel like there's probably more to it but from what you've said in your post, I feel he meets the triad/dyad of impairments.

On top of that he can be assessed for autism sooner, and it sounds like he will need an EHCP during his education to get him the best possible start, and you don't need a diagnosis for an EHCP but you do need a lot of paper evidence which comes from assessments.

I'm also wary of health visitors and unspecialised professionals saying ADHD at such a young age. Not because it might not be true but because some use it as autism-lite and it means you aren't getting the right support at the right time as you've been sent barking up a very tall, different kind of tree.

There's no typical behaviours would suggest autism, hes good eye contact, can read social cues, always responded to name etc, is extremely talkative, can manage changes in routines, no stimming, fine with noise, bright lights etc etc...
Adhd and autism overlap in some symptoms i totally understand that but his behaviours would definitely be more fitting with adhd behaviours than autism... thats my opinion, a few health visitors who have seen him over the years and the GP.

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