18 yr old AuDHD daughter. She has other problems (possible fibromyalgia) but no learning difficulties.
Shes very hard to live with.
Dropped out of college, wants a job but cannot even get an interview.
Has some friends but spends most of her time in her room.
i try to get her to do stuff but she’s always’too anxious/stressed/tired/doesnt want to’
The ongoing battle is her room. It’s horrendous. Shes go5 so much stuff!
Theres clothes, cans, food, wrappers, boxes, bottles -everything you can think of just all over.
Her stuff spills out into other rooms -i currently can’t open my drawers because of her clothes piled in front of it.
I cannot bear it. It’s driving g me mad.
I’ve begged her to let me do it/help her/pay her to do it( pay her and I’ll do it/get cleaners in, Nothing works.
I have health issues and look after her & a paraplegic Autistic husband.
I get very little help from her.
I do everything, cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, dog walking, all house hold admin, every phone call, attend every appt (with both of them). I carry all the burden of a home on my shoulders,
She refuses to let me in her room - pushes me out,
Im scared of her, she’s very strong.
Shes currently in a downward spiral. I’m worried sick but she’s very clever, mainipulative and amazing in an argument. She makes it sound like I m a terrible mother . She says she wishes she could leave and never see us again, and she also says she thinks about suicide every day and says if she does do it it wil be my fault,
She has refused therapy as CAMHS were pretty crap with her (in her opinion)
I don’t know what to do. I’m at the end of my tether, Husband usually takes her side and screams at me to ‘shut up’.
im not perfect, I know that. But it really shouldn’t be like this.
I don’t know if I should leave the house with the dog, just upsticks and go (got no idea where though).
Im pretty sure that she’s being influenced by SM to think I m terrible and she would be so much better being NC with me. She will not have it though -of course.
She went out tonight to meet up with friends. The6 just sit in her car, she left at 11pm. At 3am I messaged her and requested she come home and said her dad and l needed to talk to her tomorrow. She came in at 3.30 demanding to speak NOW and refused to leave my room.
Of course, argument ensued.
Threats of suicide, telling me it’s ‘everything’ when I ask what I do that so bad,
I don’t know what to do or how to help.
Can anyone offer some advice? There’s no drip feed intended but I don’t want to make this too long, Feel free to ask if want.