So, to me, this suggests you're not meeting your own ND needs and are heading for burnout, so you need to make some changes. Lots of us, especially those of us with later diagnoses, go through this because we're still learning how to pinpoint our own needs. Equally, needs aren't static and can change. It can be a really big and gradual journey to move from expectations others have that might be far more manageable for a neurotypical person to those which are manageable for an Autistic person, but it's very worth it to keep exploring what works for you. (This goes both ways, too, for example, an autistic person might be able to work very deeply on something for several days and not do a lot else, but a neurotypical person could find that very draining and essentially impossible.)
My suggestions would be to look at the things you find hard, thinking about, but not limited to:
- Sensory Needs
- Any needs around structure or predictability
- Interaction or Communication Needs
- Validation of lived experience (lots of Autistic people are told they shouldn't feel such and such or are overreacting and this can do lots of emotional damage)
- Physical Needs
- Ability to access special interests
- Needs around Autonomy
- Other social needs
What can you put in place to support these needs? When I say to explore it, I literally mean to try these things out, so if you think constant low level noise may be making you dysregulated, trial ear defenders and loop plugs. Often, we need to go through a stage where we really reduce demands to recover from the shutdowns and avoid burnout. Have a look at StruggleCare, which has some really useful suggestions on how to make really helpful changes based on spoon theory that can make big differences when you're Autistic. 🙂
I'd also make a 'shutdown box' for the short term. In this box, put all the things that help you regulate when you feel like this. You can include lists of films or music if those are hard to think of in shutdown, you can include a Nesti or weighted blanket, a special drink that helps comfort you etc.
Hope this makes sense and is helpful, it's something I've very much had to explore for myself and my children too.