My husband doesn’t take my children’s neurodiversity seriously

[QuickDreamer]

My children both show traits of autism/adhd (which is no surprise as, on reflection, both of us have traits!)

Every time I try to talk to my husband he thinks I’m being ‘dr google’ and trying to diagnose my children. I’m the one that deals with most of their meltdowns as I’m the one who takes them home and that’s when things unravel.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for but does it get easier?

How old are your children?
xhildren with autism don’t have meltdowns they become overwhelmed and unregulated

Have the school said anything? Sometimes hearing something from a professional helps.

Is your husband ND and a bit in denial about his own issues?

For us the main problem with DH recognising that the DC were ND was that he saw no issue as the DC were just like him. He also didn’t have any experience of how other DC behave so was convinced that everything was normal.

Apparently this can be quite common. My DH hasn’t been assessed but that’s through his choice.

Could your DH by ND?

This is so common in my experience working in early years, and personal experience at home (youngest child recently diagnosed ND but husband doesn't want to know anything about it).

Sadly some parents (mostly dads tbh) don't have the capacity to be open minded about learning about their own possible ND traits, behaviours, issues etc and I think lack the confidence and bravery it takes to go through with an assessment and face facts. Us mums tend to do it for our children so we can advocate for them at school and get them the support they need and deserve.

It's really shit having a partner who is not supportive about these fundamental things though, and I can see it's driving a wedge between me and my dh.