We use a clock that Ive just colored in the hours for as a visual reminder for quiet time, meal times, play time, solo time for things like reading, bath time.
If something doesn't happen in its allocated hour it gets forgotten about, unless its essential like meals and bedtime.
I also wear ear defenders not loops because they're a visual reminder that I am overwhelmed. DS is also allowed to wear his ear defenders when he is overwhelmed so the expectation for peace and quiet goes both ways, but we do schedule 1 on 1 time so he isn't left fending for himself and we can talk, and if he wants more scheduling in, we will do it.
It sounds really transactional but I have found running life like it's a business much easier to stick to routines with.
I also had to reduce my hours at work and eventually quit because I couldn't run my life like a second job and still perform well at my first job.
We brush teeth in the car before we get out for school rather than having a meltdown and battle about it first thing on a morning, and I also prioritise putting my hair in plants or a protective hairstyle so I don't have to worry about it, as brushing and washing it is overstimulating and very time consuming for me.