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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Should I be trying to change myself?

1 reply

Everestisthebest · 20/01/2026 09:43

I'm wondering what others thoughts are here. So basically I was diagnosed autistic and adhd end of 2024. This was great for me to understand myself a bit better as I always knew I was different. Couldn't function in a group, would basically go mute, miss social cues, probably come across rude and uninterested etc etc. I also have lots of traumas in there also, sexual abuse, bullying, parent loss at young age.

What I am wondering is..on a day to day basis I am fairly content. I don't really spend much time with other people, can't really be bothered a lot of the time. I find it draining, don't want to be misunderstood, so I'm pretty happy alone. I come home from dropping girls to school and usually spend the rest of the time at home unless I need to go out for something. I don't feel a strong need to be doing things, hobbies, activities. But I'm sure this makes me very dull. I dont think I'm depressed either. I feel fine.

What I am wondering is if I should be making more effort to be social and do things. Like is it a bad thing that I'm not very social as I feel like society tells me I am wrong because I don't socialise a lot and am awkward and that I must be boring as i dont do much outside of the home. I hear and read people talk so negatively about people being odd, awkward, rude. I'm sure lots of people would think im rude as I often do rude things without realising but I am not a bad person. I am actually very caring towards people and animals.

Just looking for some outside thoughts and opinions. Thanks!

OP posts:
SquirrelFan · 20/01/2026 09:51

I don't think you should be looking to change yourself intrinsically, however you may want to broaden your horizons. You mention dropping the girls at school - presumably they'll grow up and not need you so much. Then you might feel a gap. To prepare for this, you might want to enlist in an activity that doesn't necessarily require taking on too much responsibility at first like volunteering in a food bank or animal shelter.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you are, but everybody changes (regardless of neurodiversity) over the course of their lives (and circumstances change) so making sure you are as flexible as you are capable of is useful.

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