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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Meds? HRT? Antidepressants?

8 replies

DiffAbility · 03/01/2026 11:28

Hi. Name changed for this post. I’m late diagnosed combined ADHD this summer at age 57. Always had anxiety and overthinking. Been on ADs for 12 years which do numb me and suppress libido etc. Currently on oral HRT which may or may not be helping with some menopause symptoms… hard to tell.

Since my diagnosis I’ve gone through some cycles… felt relief that ‘it’s not my fault I struggle’… excitement at how my life could be different with this understanding… dived into reading about ADHD… now see ADHD everywhere… feel a bit of a fraud. Now feeling overwhelmed and confused again by the whole issue. I’ve got an ADHD coach who is helpful with how to regulate my energy and burnout.

It may be because of Xmas etc but I’m feeling back at the point of ‘life is so exhausting and will it ever change?’ I’m stressing about getting fit, losing weight and managing living it home with my DH and 2 young adult DSs (also ND). I think I’m a good candidate for having PDA, esp re exercising! That doesn’t help with the guilt. I put a lot of stock in how I look and feel. Not sure that ADs are my friend anymore and thinking changing meds might help.

My question to MN is what are your experiences of swapping ADs for ADHD meds? What’s titration like? Was your GP helpful or did you need to go through a psychologist?

Thanks in advance for any advice and support.

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DiffAbility · 04/01/2026 13:52

Looking for personal experience, advice or support thanks Smile

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ChinFluff46 · 04/01/2026 14:45

Hiya these boards are frustratingly quiet 🤣 I was late dx in my late 30s with inattentive Adhd, now mid 40s and edging toward perimeno.

My psychiatrist told me that some ADs help more with focus and motivation than others. These are vortioxetine, escitalopram and citalopram. Also said there is some scientific evidence that a meditarranean diet helps with symptoms.

Anecdotal experience - (before taking ADHD meds) Sertaline killed my motivation. It only began to work when I took it at exactly the same time every day and instigated an exercise routine at the same time.

In answer to your question. I wasn't on sertraline when I started ADHD meds. I suspect you'd have to come off ADs to start ADHD meds, as not sure you would know what was doing what. A psychiatrist would be best to advice. But best to be prepared for that as a possibility.

Re. titration , a GP cannot do titration, as they are controlled meds, only a psychiatrist can. Before you start have a read on the different types and consider whether you want to start by trying long or short acting meds, and if you have any preferences based on other people's experiences and what side effects you think you'd hate having to tolerate.

Theres so many long acting ones you can try.

One of the biggest movers for me was getting rid of the shame, it feels such a barrier to learning and progress as it always comes back to a faulty negative belief with ADHD (this is my fault, I'm rubbish etc.).

I also needed to have some EMDR therapy to get rid of layers of trauma as I have CPTSD from multiple events. It's so good now being able to see all sides of things more clearly. Feel much less stuck. I try and stay away from too much negativity now.

Re getting fit, losing weight, managing life, I hear you! It's great you recognise you want to carve out more space for health. This in itself is it's own goal and can benefit from coaching.

What worked for me in the past was starting slow, try and cut one thing out, replace it with something else, crowd in healthier food, start with going to something physically active purely for fun, get up to two sessions a week, with ADHD we naturally get curious so just run with that, keep trying new things, gradually hone in on some fitness challenge. I ended up swimming, then doing gym classes, then got a PT.

What has worked for you before? What interests you? Tennis seems like it could be fun and I know lots of people rate it for being good for bone density, social etc. Joining groups can really help I think at the start.

I 1000% have PDA when it comes to exercise! For me there's quite a lot of anxiety (as I have a health condition) plus the voice that goes yeah but you never stuck with the routine last time did you 😂

There's lots of tips and strategies for getting started (make the environment conducive to success, tell someone for accountability, start with what you can do etc.), but also its remembering the negative voice is never fully going to go (we have anxiety to keep us safe). It's the same voice that will say yeah I did one exercise class so now I deserve a treat 🤣 No! Keep going 🤣

Fuelling yourself for exercise - muscles need carbs before and after.

There's lots of positive podcasts about late diagnosis now as well so dipping into them is helpful.

I think there's a balance between dopamine and serotonin that needs to happen, and IMHO its about having challenge and positive social connection.

DiffAbility · 04/01/2026 18:45

@ChinFluff46
thank you so much for taking the time to respond with some great advice! Yes, it is a tad quiet on these boards isn’t it?!!

I love playing tennis and played a lot for years but tennis elbow set me back… just starting again socially now. I’m starting with a PT for exercise and accountability… just want to enjoy it rather than a chore… got to give it a go before I dismiss it.

meds… I’ve been on citalopram before, didn’t notice a difference but wasn’t diagnosed at that point. Currently on venlaxafine. Think I’ll need to go through RTC for a psychiatric approach to meds. Whilst my GP is empathetic they are also very tight with options for financial reasons, and I’m not confident I’ll get the best meds with them… just the cheapest!

really interested that you’ve worked with EMDR therapy. I’ve got quite a lot of trauma background too and have undergone various types of therapy over the years but not EMDR. Do you think it’s particularly helpful with ADHD re resetting cognitive loops and the vagus system? I do think I’m very self aware but sometimes feel I’ve become ‘over self aware’ and can’t just feel my own thoughts without analysis of my impact and everyone’s else’s behaviour… if you see what I mean.

again thank you for your response, you’ve given me food for thought.

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ChinFluff46 · 08/01/2026 00:06

Do you think it’s particularly helpful with ADHD re resetting cognitive loops and the vagus system?

Just on this - hard to answer as it doesn't directly work on changing the thoughts like CBT, just reprocessing the memory to move it from short to long term memory. How to describe in ADHD terms..I guess it feels like I've had a big clear out, stuff has moved from my working memory, so there's a bigger operating space when new stuff comes in. Having processed the whole memory anything that would trigger it...its like my brain recognises it as similar, but not with the panic and alarm bells.

That struck a chord, I remember when I first took ADHD meds it felt like my brain 'landing' for the first time, amidst 50 thoughts I was able think what's the one thing I need to do, and just do it. Moreover what I was going to say was I remember writing an email and rather than thinking...how is this coming across, what's the other person's view, I was like what do I want to say and wrote it 😂. I had no idea how much there was a constant stream of feelings. I still get 'bounce back' after meds wear off which is probably why I post on MN 🤣

As an aside after I was medicated (apparently this is common-ish), it started to feel like this might be ADHD plus something, because of the amount of focus I put on reading people.

I've done the ASD questionnaire and I always just score 1 point above the threshold. I'm on a waiting list for assessment. It probably won't change me, but I'm becoming more aware of the need for downtime.

Xenomoth · 19/01/2026 17:33

Just to add to this..my adhd meds feel like they don’t work at all when I have PMT, I might as well have taken a smartie! I’m not peri yet I don’t think (I’m just about to turn 40) but I am worried that when I am, the medication just isn’t going to do anything. Now I’m the other way round to you considering asking for antidepressants to try and combat this awful awful PMT, it’s very miserable.

DiffAbility · 19/01/2026 20:40

Thanks @ChinFluff46 sorry it’s taken a while to respond. Interesting to hear your thoughts on this and appreciate your response.

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ADHDNewbee · 20/01/2026 11:43

Hello there @DiffAbility

I was also recently diagnosed with combined type ADHD. I was previously on ADs (fluoxetine) for many years for PMDD (extreme PMS). I am mid 40s and perimenopausal. Like you, I found ADs blunting and they affected my libido. I have since pretty much come off the ADs. I take them very occasionally to help manage PMDD symptoms before my period comes. I am also on HRT.

I recently started on ADHD meds (Elvanse) and feel so much better. I have more clarity, am more decisive, focused, productive, confident, motivated and optimistic. I know they are not for everyone, but I would recommend you give them a try, especially if you're trying to build motivation for exercise.

The downside for me is that I feel pretty tired and agitated if I don't take them, and they do not work as well in the premenstrual phase.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

DiffAbility · 20/01/2026 13:05

@ADHDNewbee thanks for your message, that’s so good to hear. Glad you’ve found something that works for you. I’ve tried coming off ADs in the past (slowly!) and end up just going back to anxiety. I’d like to see if ADHD meds would work better instead. Even though I have a diagnosis, it was private so I’m trying my luck with RTC and any meds can be shared care with GP… it’s a minefield to navigate so very much appreciate this online community.

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